25 October 2007

The Battle Over Thanksgiving

It seems that some on the religious right are not yet over the War on Christmas controversy perpetrated by Bill O’Reilly two years ago to get himself some extra facetime on Fox.

So, these Fundies are Kickin’ it Old Testament – of which they seem only to embrace the shall nots, smites and an eye for an eye bits – by going after…Thanksgiving.

That’s right. The World's Greatest Secular Holiday (sorry, Boxing Day) is being hijacked - HIJACKED I tell you! - by “Remember to Thank Him on Thanksgiving.”

What if I believe that Him is a Her? What if I believe that Him is an It? What if I don’t believe in Him, Her or It? :: GASP! ::

Well, there you have it. Freedom of Religion is not the same as Freedom from Religion and we don’t want you people here, so gimme your share of the holiday and enjoy hell. Or move to France. Same diff as far as we’re concerned.

:: wistful sigh:: It was the perfect holiday, though, wasn’t it?

Buddhist? Celebrate Thanksgiving - with Tofurky! Skip the football - too violent.

Hindu? Celebrate Thanksgiving – no beef here! No, no. Sorry. We call that soccer.

Jewish? Celebrate Thanksgiving – BYO Manischewitz and pass the kugel! Watch football.

Catholic? Celebrate Thanksgiving - add a course of Your-Odd-Ethnic-Dish here. Play flag football.

Protestant? Celebrate Thanksgiving – did Martha Stewart become one of yours? Egads, people! The Doyenne of Domesticity! What more could you want?!

I sincerely hope (and pray – but not because your bumper sticker told me to) that this concept does not catch on; that Michelle Malkin or Ann Coulter isn't so desperate for publicity that one of them picks it up.

Or that – don’t even say it aloud, City Girl Lou Dobbs doesn’t come across a Mexican family enjoying their Thanksgiving turkey seasoned with cilantro and chipotle peppers. It’d be all over but the cryin’ if he could convince people that OUR national holiday (and Canada's, ahem) has been taken over by Illegals. But that's another concern for another day.

You know what? Do please pray, quietly, on Thanksgiving. Pray that these people - the same folks, mind you, who insisted earlier this year that soy products make kids gay - are all called away in the Rapture sometime very, very soon and leave the rest of us to the secular loveliness of the Macy’s Parade, football and Tofurky.

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