27 December 2007

Oh, He's BLIND in One Eye!

This. Is. It... 2008 Eve.

This is where the rubber meets the road.
The Iowa meets the Caucus.
The Super meets the Tuesday.

As we slide on into It’s Better Than Ever Street…wait, no, that’s Aretha

As we slide on into the first month of a Presidential election year - finally, thank God - I’m putting on my game face.

I get very, very serious about American politics and I have to warn you that by November you may get tired of it.

(Ooo. Remind me to tell you about my Edinburgh friend’s reference to The One-Eyed, Scottish Behemoth. I thought he was getting graphic about what’s under his kilt, but he meant PM Gordon Brown….)

And if Country Girl gets busy and can’t keep up with her crazy-assed posts we may find ourselves in peril of losing our standing on humor-blogs.com.

But it can’t be helped. Not long after this blog was launched, a couple of people told me that they wouldn’t know much about what was going on politically if it wasn’t for us.

Hoo! Big Mistake! That was the positive reinforcement equivalent of throwing bacon on a grease fire. Rue the day, you two. Rue the day.

Issue two - it has been brought to my attention that, based on recent posts, my status as a political Independent is also in peril.

Look: Every freaking one of the Republican candidates scares the ever-living crap out of me (Ron Paul is NOT a Republican). Any one of those men could and would launch us into a war with Iran just to prove his behemoth is as big as Dubya's.

So what's left? Democrats. And a pitiful bunch they are:

Hilary - As big a hawk as any right-winger. With bigger balls. Secret Service code name "Clang."

Obama - An empty suit who has flat worn OUT the word "Hope"... moving on soon to "Charity."

Edwards - A socialist wannabe. Actually dangerous in my book.
Biden - His mouth alone could start WWIII.

Dodd - Um, who?

Kucinich? Imagine him going toe-to-toe with Putin. Start learning the Cyrillic alphabet, Comrades!

Because none of the electoral options are likely to propel us forward in this troubled world, the question becomes: Who will do the least amount of damage in four years time?

With a single exception, I believe that a Democratic president would be extremely hesitant to push the button. That’s a good thing. If a Dem - any Dem - was president, poor, mummified Ruth Bader-Ginsburg could finally retire without fear of being replaced by a Klan Grand Wizard. (I’m talking to YOU, Roberts. Super stare decisis my ass). That's a good thing. If a Dem was president MAYBE we could stop talking for a few years about building freaking fences, flag burning and banning gay marriage. Wouldn't that be a nice change?

The real issues - the immediate issues - I think we can agree, are the Economy and War. So who is most likely to do the least amount of damage? We shall see.

2 comments:

Country Girl said...

You scare the hell out of me. I'm gonna do that list, sometime, and we'll be lucky if I recognize two people in there. And the REASONS I'll recognize them are even scarier.

City Girl said...

I scare the hell out of YOU? Considering that you've endured childbirth three times and deal with untold frightening situations on a daily basis, I'd say that's quite an accomplishment. :o)

List?