17 January 2008

I Recycle

I am fairly certain that when I signed on with Blogger I swore some sort of oath - I remember blood - that I would never, NEVER, recycle a post.

But, hey, oaths are made to be broken - just ask my ex-husbands.

Tom and Dory: I thought of you guys as I was posting this over at No Place for Picky Eaters last night. I am certain you've never had as ridiculous a conversation as this. ::wink::

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Hi, everyone. My name is City Girl and I’m addicted to condiments.

*Hi, City Girl.*

God, grant me the ability to season the foods I cannot palate,
The courage to try savory jellies,
And the wisdom not to confuse Miracle Whip with mayonnaise.

I’ve been asked to share with you today my story of hitting rock bottom and realizing I need help…kicking the condiment habit.

*murmurs of approval*

The other day my husband was making a sandwich and asked me where he could find the mustard.

“On the refrigerator door, middle shelf, on the right” I replied.

“No, I’m not looking for weird mustard, I want sandwich mustard” he said firmly, staring into the box.

So I went to him, squinted into the 15 watt brightness, pointed to the mustard shelf and said, “It’s right here….” before recoiling in horror as I realized I actually have an entire refrigerator shelf dedicated to housing mustard.

The Hubster, unrelenting, said, “You have seven different kinds of mustard in here, and none of them is plain, yellow, American.”

I reviewed: coarse grain French mustard, whole grain French mustard, coarse grain hot Polish mustard, sweet and hot German mustard, wasabi mustard, brown American mustard and an old, forgotten Food & Wine magazine brand champagne mustard.

“Oh, well, we can get rid of that Food & Wine mustard – I don’t know how long that’s been in there.”

“That doesn’t solve the problem of my naked sandwich.”

“Well, use the brown mustard – it’s American.”

“It isn’t yellow.”

“You just made fun of me for harboring seven different mustards in our home and now you want me to add another? You – YOU – are an enabler!”

And so here I am with you tonight. I want to get better. I do. I’ve been to Fresh Market twice recently without purchasing a single new condiment. Not even a new curry sauce…but that’s another testimony for another day.

Excellent steak marinade recipe - using only one type of mustard - found here.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I must have a condiment deficiency, I only have one small jar of yellow mustard, mayonnaise, and ketchup in my refrigerator.

melissa said...

I too am a condiment junkie. I four types of mustard and goodness knows how many types of that Fisher and Weisert brand stuff in my fridge. It's very sad.

fatboyfat said...

Must. Have. Mustard.