08 January 2008

Merry...What?

Hey, guys! Guess what Saturday is!

It's Christmas!

Yes, CHRISTMAS! A-gain.

Christmas Eve with my mother-in-law and Christmas Day with my father-in-law just weren't enough. Noooooo-hooo.

On Saturday January 12, a full 19 days after Christmas, we're replaying the whole very trying ordeal over again with my MIL's step-fambly.

Mind you, I've been with The Hubster for ten years and have met only a few of these people on a single occasion. No, wait. Two occasions - I vaguely recall a funeral with oddly dressed mourners...another cousin was a stripper.

Backstory: Whenever there is a bizarre shooting, knife fight or completely freakish accident within a 30 mile radius of this house, it involves one of Hubsters step-cousins. We literally watch the newscast and ask aloud, "I wonder which cousin that was." Followed immediately by a ringing telephone.
Note: The raidus had to be extended last summer when in another state the estranged husband of a female step-cousin shot off the cousin's face inside the gun vault in their home. Ironic? You betcha.

Anywho. Apparently there is an unwritten and understandably unspeakable rule that if a family unit wishes to assemble within 20 days of Christmas, it must be treated as a Yuletide Celebration.
Never mind that the Feast of the Three Kings is over as we blew past Epiphany a few days ago and even Orthodox Christmas - which falls on the second Tuesday after the first gibbous moon of the new year on the Julian calendar - has come and gone.

We, by God, are going to have a Family Christmas and we are going to LIKE IT!
*forced smile, sad eyes*

The real victim in this scenario is my poor sister-in-law (#1) who, according to SIL #2 has not yet removed her Christmas decorations in order to accommodate the happy gathering. Bless her heart.

I'm going to bake a rum cake full of 151 and Valium just for her....

Image Credit: www.saynotocrack.com

2 comments:

Tom said...

Stoned Cake?! I want some!!!

Or better yet, just leave out the cake part of it so we get the full effect of the... Christmas goodies.

Take a gun to these events and you, too, could be a part of the festivities... and the 6 o'clock news.

melissa said...

Ok, I now have a rule...especially since I'm using my new computer :)...

No drinking while reading your website. I giggle too much and the spray might damage the new digs.

:)