13 February 2008

Brain Droppings

...to borrow an expression from the genius George Carlin.

Kids! Where to begin?

Like every day this week, this morning I dragged myself out of bed at the crack-ass of dawn to see if I'd received an overnight email from a guy in the U.K. begging me to interview for a job.

Not just some random guy - someone who actually contacted me last week, but from whom I have not heard another FREAKING PEEP. Tease.

Check Blackberry for signs of UK Marc. Nothing.

INSTEAD I have a text message from The Hubster, time stamped 1:27:17 a.m., from Las Vegas where he is conventioneering, which reads as follows:

"Okay - I just ran into Paris Hilton."

Sorry, wot? What do you mean by ran into? Like, you literally rounded a corner, bumped into her and spilled your beer down her Prada blouse? Or were you riding in a cab whose driver mowed her down crossing The Strip? What? Details! I need DETAILS!

Note: I was probably the last person at my hairdresser's to know who Paris Hilton is, but a celebrity encounter is a celebrity encounter. Just ask Joshilyn.

So that's kind of exciting.

THEN I pulled up Netvibes and encountered this headline:
"Will Farrell and Heidi Klum in SI Swimsuit Edition."

WTF? to the fourth power. WTF? infinity. I swear to God this guy has no shame. Like, not a single red blood cell's worth of shame. Which is fine, because I LOVE him, but does he have to get nearly naked in every damn movie? He's not exactly whatcha call easy on the eye.

*running around on the track in tighty whities* Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me Allah! AAAAAHHH! Help me Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me!

So there's that. At least he's not nekked, but the junk-enhancing polyester shorts are still...Ugh.

THEN CG1 emails me with the following petition: "See if you can get angry cop unleashes on kid from somewhere...it's on abcnews.com but I can NOT get it uploaded where I can move it. Post it and then let me vent. Before I go kick that kid's ass myself. Please."

How can I refuse? Here is a video of a law enforcement professional - driving what appears to be a vehicle made of Legos - getting a little upset with a skateboarder punk...er, innocent babe...who gets mouthy with him.

Best Line: "Are you from the County or something?"
Biggest Mistake: "If I find myself on YouTube...." D'OH!

I also was tagged yesterday by Fab Boy. Saving that meme for a slow news day.

Finally, a quick shout out to our new regular readers in BC Canada, Michigan, Pennsylvania and Illinois. Google Analytics black magic tells me you're repeat visitors. Go on and introduce yourselves. We don't bite. Well, not unless you ask nicely.

Okay, REALLY finally, if anyone actually clicked the Zero Punctuation link I posted here about a month ago, here's a new game review. I'm telling you, I don't give a rat's ass about video games, but this guy is too funny.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ha! Looks like I'm busted. Introduce myself? Why would I do that? I generally just hide in the background, and try not to giggle too loudly so that my supervisor doesn't suspect anything from the next office over. But hello, from Vancouver BC, and yes I'm now a regular reader. I moved here 15 months ago from St. Louis, MO and it's different up here, so reading your blog makes me feel that I'm still tenuously in touch with the world as I used to know it. So, thanks, and I'll keep readin' if you'll keep writin'!

Laurel

City Girl said...

*in unison*

"Welcome, Laurel!"

What a beautiful name. Laurel.
Absolutely lovely. I might christen a kitten with that name one day.

Laurel and Henry.

Must. Find. Kittens.

Tom said...

What's this?! I wasn't told about the opportunity for biting! Is this a sign on bonus or some sort of promotion...? I'm just tryin to get the facts straight.

Man, nobody tells me anything!

City Girl said...

Tommy Boy:

All you have to do is submit a notarized permission slip signed by Dory. In triplicate.

Tres facile!

Anonymous said...

Hey, ya'll! I'm guessing I'm the new Illinois regular. I've been banished to the frozen north from my beloved Huntsville, AL (originally Tuscumbia), so reading your blog is a taste (sometimes literally) of home.

Oh, and who cares about being GH's blog of the year? I'd much rather hang out with somebody that wouldn't be appalled by my own dirty mouth!

Fantastic blog, ladies...I love it!

City Girl said...

Welcome! I've noticed you ::batting eyelashes:: on the Site Meter report and have to tell you that I am originally from very near where you now live.

And my mother-in-law lives in Tuscumbia. Did you go to Deshler?

Small world!