01 February 2008

Learn From the Wisdom of My Experience

Guys - Don't bother reading this.

Ladies, please heed this cautionary tale:

If you drop a mascara wand and it bounces off the end of your nose, leaving a smudge, and you attempt to wipe off the smudge with mere Kleenex - or toilet paper disguised in a Kleenex box, but that's another story - you will fail.

For you see, gentle readers, mascara is loved by pores. Pores adore this black gunk so much, in fact, that by the time you can reach for a facial tissue (or your sleeve) every pore in the effected area will be filled to the brim with Maybelline Great Lash Very Black.

And unless you keep witch hazel, vodka or some other astringent in your desk drawer you will walk around for the remainder of the day with what appears to be a blackhead nursery on the end of your nose.

The moral of this story? NEVER leave home without individually-wrapped alcohol hand wipes. Or vodka. Whichever.

2 comments:

Country Girl said...

You need to check this out with bourbon. I don't have any vodka.

Dory said...

Given the choice between alcohol hand wipes and vodka, there's no contest. You can kill two birds with one stone and fix your nose AND get a little tipsy. Everybody wins!