10 September 2008

How about a little RESPONSIBILITY here?

Let me state right up front...there are elderly women in this town who retired from teaching after they had The Big Boy in elementary school. I met him in grad school at Alabama, and when I came home and told my dad we'd been dating my dad (who was his principal and teacher in junior and high school) sat there for about five seconds and then said, "He's a good boy. He spent more time in my office than in the classroom, but he's a good boy."

In first grade, TBB would reach a point where he just flat out COULD NOT SIT THERE any longer and he'd get up and just lap the room. He was punished. They swear he got a paddling EVERY SINGLE DAY he went to school in fourth grade.

The boy had issues. His mama addressed them...as in: "Son. You got issues. And that won't do."

And over the course of about 20 years, his mama and his teachers helped him address his issues and ultimately he ended up with an MBA hanging on the wall of the company he was running. It wasn't an easy path, and it SURE wasn't a straight path, but the bottom line was always that HE was responsible. No one but him.

I told that story to tell this story. (Ron White again.)

The Nice Kid started public school this fall. This is the first time in nearly 20 years I've had a child in public school and I am in open-mouthed shock over the direction mainstreaming has taken in two decades. I knew there were issues...my mom retired from teaching over mainstreaming, but I haven't lived with the situation until now.

And at the risk of offending half my friends and relatives I am just going to point out right here....NINETY PERCENT OF THIS IS NOT ADHD!! These kids just need their asses beat! And if it IS ADHD? Then put the child somewhere he can get help!! He's not learning and neither are the kids sitting next to him! THIS DOESN'T WORK.

Inappropriate is inappropriate and if you have an issue with paying attention? THEN YOU JUST WORK HARDER. You don't get to sit there, disrupting class and holding back the other children, while announcing that IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. It IS your fault...and if it's harder for you to function in public than it is for other people, THEN YOU WORK HARDER. At functioning in public.

My child came home the first two weeks of school in shock. Our nice little Catholic school didn't keep kids who held the other children back...you can't function as a part of this group? Then you need to go somewhere where they have to take you. Because non-Catholics like me are paying TOO DAMN MUCH MONEY to have our children ignored while the teacher spends all her time trying to handle one problem child. (Actually, that's how we ended up in private school to begin with. One kid.)

TNK sits next to a boy in science. He has random, inappropriate outbursts all through class. One day last week he suddenly sat up, slapped his hand on the desk and shouted, "SpongeBob!" He announced out of the blue one day that he could fly, and when the classroom turned to look at him he informed them THEY could all fly. (I have been assured that there are no drugs or mental illness involved here...he just wants the attention. And there's nothing anyone can do, because his rights supersede MY child's rights.)

I COULD take TNK out of this school and pay the equivalent of college tuition to send her to private high school, but that's not the answer. Private school isn't real, and after the elementary years you better start learning some coping skills. But that doesn't change the fact that while my kid has some unbelievable social/adjusting/functioning skills, she needs to be learning about charts and graphs. Which she can't do sitting in a class with a bunch of undisciplined kids whose mamas go running up to the school every time the child doesn't like something.

We live by the old mantra here...you get in trouble at school? Just wait 'til you get home. Doesn't matter if it wasn't your fault...YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN HANGING AROUND THOSE PEOPLE. Unfair? Probably. But in the long run, it works.

2 comments:

City Girl said...

I work with the parents of these children and they are just as entitled and whiney as their brats.

I actually - true story - looked at a group of them who were complaining about the INJUSTICE of teachers who don't understand how special each and every one of their children is and said, "You all MUST be only children or youngest children."

::blink blink:: ::crickets::

"I know this because if you had younger siblings you would have learned along the way that you aren't the favorite, life isn't fair and nobody is any more deserving or special than anyone else."

It turned out that three out of four were the youngest and the other was a middle child - all girls - with her own, special issues.

Maybe the answer is that everybody just needs to start having 5 and 6 children again. In a family that big nobody has time for coddling, and kids can't hide from learning social skills.

Comet Girl said...

As the child of a retired middle school principal I refer you to this link:

http://www.guzer.com/videos/south_park_add.php

Sorry I can't hyperlink but you can cut and paste.