04 September 2008

I think Texas had it right

Both my parents were educators for nearly 30 years...everything from teacher to librarian to principal to county superintendent to school board president. I grew up in that shit. Most of it doesn't make sense.

At one point in time my dad was the driver's ed instructor at the city high school. Back then driver's ed was more focused...he built a driving range and installed simulators. (He also taught The Big Boy to drive and THAT more or less tarnishes his legacy.)

They came to visit while we were in Texas and I couldn't wait to show my dad...you opened the phone book and in the yellow pages were driver's ed classes...IN THE COMEDY CLUBS. I am not making this up. They didn't offer driver's ed in high school any more...couldn't afford the insurance. So as a parent, you paid for your child to take driving classes and the classes were taught, I PROMISE you, in the comedy clubs which were empty during the week.

Since school started back a couple of weeks ago? WHERE DO THESE PEOPLE COME FROM? I sit at two four-way stops every morning. FOUR WAY STOP doesn't mean each person sits and waits on the other three. It means if you are facing another car and you're both going straight ahead? YOU GO AT THE SAME TIME. It's COMMON SENSE, people. You don't have to reinvent the wheel...just do as little damage as you can as you pass this way. YOU AREN'T THE ONLY FISH IN THIS POND.

I spend all morning long constantly amazed at the people who have no clue there's anyone else on the road. That rear-view mirror? If you look in it and there is a looong line of cars behind you, you might be doing something wrong. Just maybe. Wouldn't hurt to look around and make sure.

And the gas crunch has created a new problem that is starting to rank right up there with the left lane drivers. It's the people who are going to "coast" through all the red lights in town. The problem with this theory is that when the light turns green, this car eases out doing about seven miles an hour. Hoping it won't have to stop at the next light. And all of, oh say, TWO CARS get through that red light and then it turns again. And the line starts backing up and that dumbass is still coasting along at ten miles an hour...oblivious. Totally oblivious.

And then we have the places where the light synchronization? Doesn't make a lick of sense. Does someone just show up from the Department of Transportation, set a pattern for light changes, AND THEN LEAVE? Does anyone ever check to see if...ooops!....there are people sitting in lines waiting on......NOTHING?

I TRY to maintain when the car in front of me comes to an almost COMPLETE stop at green lights. I TRY to understand that you don't think your blinker is as important as I think your blinker is when you are TURNING IN FRONT OF ME. And I honestly make an effort to realize that you NEEDED TO GET IN THE LEFT LANE in Arkansas because you're turning left in CHARLESTON.

But y'all. There is a point. There is a point sometime, somewhere, that you have to realize you are taking up valuable space on this planet. Polluting the gene pool. Depleting the food supply. AND DRIVING IN THE LEFT LANE.

There oughta be a dumbass test. Or more cops.

No comments: