The Big Boy doesn't change light bulbs because he's afraid of electricity. He does't use drills because he might get stuck. He doesn't lift things because he might hurt his back.
You get the picture. He opted out a long time ago and AS LONG AS SOMEONE ELSE DOES IT, why bother?
Except sometimes? That woman you married just gets fed up to HERE. Today was The Not Nice Kid's final soccer game and she lost the game. Keeping in mind, she IS the game, she missed a kick she's never missed in her life and...we lost. I can tell you this because I would never say it to her, but she lost the game. So when it was over, some of us headed to our Mexican place to celebrate/commiserate. Same difference.
And close to the end of dinner, in came two people we'd rather not have dinner with. Again. So TBB packed up and left while the other parents and I gathered up kids and bills and take-out boxes. He came home and put on THE BALL GAME. And sat here and watched it.
When we got here? The new puppy had pooped all over the den. While The Big Boy sat here. And when we walked in? His comment? "Dogs shit."
I DID point out, loudly, that they DON'T DO IT IN THE HOUSE IF YOU TAKE THEM OUT. But he was busy sitting smugly in his chair watching the football game while The Nice Kid cleaned up the puppy's mess.
You blithering idiot. In case the rest of you don't know, a Hoover Vacuum Vac is loud. It is really loud. If the person driving it is pissed off? It is louder than any sports caster YOU ever thought you were going to listen to.
YOU CAN TAKE THE FOOTBALL GAME TO THE HOUSE. Asshole. Because you won't be hearing it down here until CHRISTMAS. Because that's how long it's going to take for me to clean this five foot square area space. Doubt it? The Braves will be on when I get finished.
Oh. And he doesn't know what Google Analytics does. Or tells.
Marriage skills. I think I wrote that book.
You should have read this post before I got up this morning and cleaned it up a bit.