22 November 2008

And they're off!


City Girl is, I'm pretty sure, sitting on the side of a hill freezing her ass off and tailgating to high heaven. I hope she's started drinking because it is COLD, and the wind's blowing.

We've sent The Nice Kid off to the assisted living home to do her volunteer afternoon. The Big Boy has headed off to the ballgame, too; I should have reminded him City Girl and Hubster are there. My mom and I are taking The Not Nice Kid to her first basketball game of the season, where she will thoroughly kick butt because that's what she does.

Then The Inmates will all congregate here and off we go for The Other Family Thanksgiving. And I've been sitting here laughing my ass off because you know what...I'M THE IN-LAW. All these posts about wacky gifts and multiple trees and how crazy those people are? I'll walk in in my cowboy boots and pearls, with a flask in every bag and basket, with a daughter who not only beats every macho-taught boy there in every sport they play but who can fart with her underarm and burp the alphabet. (All the while being very delicate-looking and head-turning pretty.) Another daughter who will barely speak all afternoon because her nose will be in the last Twilight book while she simultaneously texts. And I WON'T sit in the kitchen with the women while they swap recipes with cool whip and graham cracker crusts in them.

IT'S ME! I'm the odd man out! I made them let The Not Nice Kid say the blessing one year, and pissed off 99% of everyone there. She rattled off some 2000 year old Catholic liturgy something, which is music to listen to IMHO, and it offended those of a different persuasion because they're those people in that joke? Where they're the only ones in Heaven? Never mind that...those Catholics? THEY HAD IT FIRST.

So here we go. Off into the wilds of familial camaraderie to do that thing total strangers do best...make memories.

1 comment:

City Girl said...

She may not be nice, but she is one beautiful girl, CG1.

She is going to make some poor, unsuspecting man joyfully miserable someday.