16 December 2008

It's not even Christmas...

...and I'm already screwing up Valentine's Day.

Somewhere, somehow, some road...I got off-track. And I've been off-track for awhile. Today, I'm pretty sure, is December 15 and I...the career mother by default...do not have a Christmas tree put up. Unless my attitude changes and that's not looking likely...I won't have one tomorrow, either. (This sounds eerily like LAST year's refrain.) And in the course of worrying about getting up THIS Christmas tree (which involves staining concrete floors, which isn't going to happen because of the Brown Recluse bite, and moving all the furniture in the den OUT of the den) I've realized that...I'm supposed to be working on Valentine's Day cards..

I've never sent out Christmas cards. I think maybe I did once or twice when we lived 800 miles from home, but I just never got the bug. I ENJOY Christmas cards more than anyone you know and we LOVE getting "I thought of you's" and seeing pictures of our friends and their families but...I just never did it.

Then, last year, I got a SHITLOAD of Christmas cards and since I had dropped the ball on Christmas (do we get the feeling there's a TREND going on here?) long about Valentine's Day I got...motivated. So I sent out a VALENTINE card, with a collage of pictures on the front, and this inside:

Christmas came, Christmas went
I never got those damn cards sent.

The cards were bought, the list was made,
Then my resolve began to fade.

I picked up stamps, I made a pile,
Then I read email for a while.

My mother says my road’s not paved,
It’s greased from all the slips I’ve made!

So keep in mind, I love you dear
And not just Christmas but all year.

And here’s the card, so I can say:
I missed Christmas! Happy Valentine’s Day!


And it was a hit!! People LOVED this card...it wasn't lost in a holiday pile, it assured everyone I still loved/would feed them, and it sort of broke up the winter doldrums. I had succeeded. I basked in the after-glow.

And then the other day, someone mentioned that they couldn't WAIT to see this year's card. This. Year's. Card. This year.

Oh, puh-leeze. I am in the midst of In-Law Hell, Christmas delinquency, teen angst, elementary school madness, middle-age crisis, pet overload, economic meltdown, bald tire malady and...I probably have ricketts. If I knew what ricketts are. Were? Whatever.

AND SOMEONE IS ALREADY WAITING ON MY VALENTINE CARDS?

So. Let's see.

The weather sucked, the house was a mess
I had no spirit I must confess.

They stopped up the toilet, they stopped up the sink,
They dropped my earrings into the drink.

They broke a window playing football,
And then complained 'cause the yard is too small

The family gets bigger, the house keeps shrinking
AND ANYONE WONDERS WHY I KEEP DRINKING?

Should I keep the preacher on the mailing list?

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