04 March 2009

Chaos...Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome

All of this stuff came out of one closet. Today. I found a child's original birth certificate, enough stationery to stock a shop (most of it the same stuff I bought at Office Depot this morning because I couldn't find it), enough connectivity devices for obsolete electronics to build a bomb, my missing camera tripod and a case of beer. Really...a case of beer. I DON'T KNOW HOW IT GOT IN THERE. More relevent? I don't know how LONG it's been in there.

I've been living here ten years.

I found the front half of a dress I was smocking for a child for Valentine's Day...the last time a daughter in this house wore a hand-smocked garment? Clinton was president. I have NO idea where the rest of the shiny red material to FINISH the dress is.

There's my "craft" box. The oils to hand-tint portraits. The projector to enlarge snapshots to make black and white canvases. Eight gorgeous porcelain handles to...WTF? No clue. They sure are pretty but they don't match or fit ANYTHING in this house.

Three bags of fiberfill. Fiberfill? Fiberfill? I can't even IMAGINE what I was thinking...I buy my pillows pre-filled. Genius that I am.

You know those long floaty tubes kids use in swimming pools? There's one of those in here...cut into three sections long-ways. Now you KNOW I had to have a reason but whatever it was? Oh, puh-leeze. Either do it or THROW THIS SHIT AWAY. My friend, Ann, keeps offering to come organize all this stuff but that's EXACTLY what she'll do...throw this shit away. And you know how this works don't you?

Day after tomorrow? I will be in DESPERATE need of one-third of a swimming pool floaty pole. You know it'll happen.

2 comments:

City Girl said...

I believe the long floaty things are called Pool Noodles, and one-third of a pool noodle is not enough to keep a dachshund afloat let alone a child so THROW IT AWAY!

If you ever do need another you can buy one at The Evil Empire for about $5.

PS – You don’t have a swimming pool!

City Girl said...

PPS - Is that Grandpa Munster or Robert Novak on the television? They look so much alike....