01 April 2009

They Pull Me Back In

The complete quote is, of course:

"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in."

I don't know who said it better, Al Pacino as Michael Corleone, or Silvio Dante doing Al Pacino as Michael Corleone.

The Readers Digest version of what transpired yesterday, is that at 4:45 I was summoned by The Bosslady and made an offer I may not be able to refuse.

The long version is that before I turned in my resignation last week, I submitted a proposal that went something like this: I come into the office one day a week and work from home, part-time the rest of the week while continuing to executing my primary duties.

This removes me from a toxic environment, gives me a chance to help Hubster and supplements our income.

In return, Company X retains a good employee who does good work, doesn't have to train a replacement and saves money on benefits and salary. Meanwhile, the management of the Department of Toxicity doesn't look bad and saves a headcount (very important).

Bosslady liked it and her boss liked it. Unfortunately, Human Resources management said, "Sorry, no can do. Would love to help you, but we have 2,000 employees and there is no policy covering this situation. While we love you, CityGirl, if we make an exception for you, who is next?"

I didn't really think they'd go for it, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

So I turned around, submitted my resignation, told Hub I was all his if he didn't mind eating beans and cornbread for the next year and everything was settled.

Until yesterday. For some completely unfathomable reason the VP of Human Resources went to Bosslady to find out if I'd consider the FABulous solution of...working part-time from home rather than leaving.

Whaaaa?

Call me crazy, paranoid and completely unable to embrace the perfect solution (it was originally mine, after all) but...something is, if not rotten, decomposing in Denmark.

Since when does a VP - where a mere Manager would have done nicely - insert herself into a solution a full week after a person who has only been on payroll for 13 months resigns? The very same VP who has never - up to this point - set foot in the office of, or possibly even initiated a conversation with (we can't remember), The Bosslady?

Based on my knowledge of interoffice politics and a Company X web of intrigue the KGB and Vladimir Putin himself could learn a thing or two from, I've formulated two possible and entirely plausible theories. Neither ends well for several people.

Don't get me wrong, if I could work part-time, from home, doing what I'm doing and earning a by-local-standards full salary, while still helping Hubster part-time, AND visiting my friends and shopping in "the big town" once a week...well, hell, that'd be pretty damn sa-weet.

I just don't...understand. Stay tuned.


Is it just me or is he...sexy... in a, "I don't know whether I'll kill you or screw you" James-Bond-meets...You're right, never mind.

3 comments:

hswilkinson said...

The VP of HR probably found out about your proposition, realized that it could save the company a frakton of money if more people had this option, and decided you are the first test subject.

City Girl said...

Lawd, I hope so! We are SO far behind on that front.

They didn't even use the word 'jobshare', I did this morning and I could see the little light come on.... :o)

Comet Girl said...

I'm wondering if Bosslady even passed your proposal along. I believe this woman is threatened by you, as well as she should be.