You might be a redneck if...you're on your way to WalMart to look for one of those metal containers like your grandmother had, in which to save bacon grease. You SAVE bacon grease. You know why I do.
....you rented a dumpster four weeks ago and it's still sitting in your driveway...along with all the stuff you pulled out of the garages and haven't gone through yet. (The neighbors have to LOVE this.)
...you think you'll leave the dumpster there another month and clean out the attic while you're at it.
The dumpster is pissing off the asshole guy next door SO much, you're considering getting a port-a-potty.
Your exotic tropical orchid blooms every year, without fail. Because you take it out into the Alabama humidity and set it under the overflow pipe from the air conditioning unit. And forget about it.
Your Home Depot charge card is platinum. Your Neiman Marcus card is only gold.
You might be an alcoholic if...you take the bag OUT of the box in order to drain those last two glasses.
...you're drinking wine out of a box in the first place. And damn well happy to be doing so.
You didn't have to make up anything to create this list.