16 October 2009

Domestic bliss...

...or I Need To Get The Hell Out Of This House.

I bought a CrockPot. I am 53 years old and have never owned a CP. It is sitting in the middle of the den floor while I one...am appalled at how damn BIG this thing is....I had in mind RIBS as opposed to, oh say, an entire BODY. And two...WTF? I don't want a CP. I'm guessing I just go stock up on an excessive amount of canned soup and inferior cuts of meat. Maybe I should have researched this. But we have three days a week where people come and go over a four-hour dinner period and...we need a pot of food. That can just sit there. We'll see.

The Nice Kid screwed up on her grades, and I went in to suspend her cell phone account and...couldn't do it. Not for HER but for ME. The Mama wants to know WHERE you are and with WHOM at ALL times. TNK was deeply offended last week when I made her send me a picture of her out-of-town surroundings. I really just wanted to see if the accomodations were as nice as what I was paying for, but she assumed I was checking up on her. Hadn't occurred to me before then ;)

There needs to be a new plan concerning the overweight dog because best I can figure, pouring sausage grease over his expensive Fat Dog Food that he hates, so that he'll eat it, is...potentially defeating the purpose. I'm just sayin'.

The Not Nice Kid had complained about the big toe on her foot hurting. I figured, ripstick accident with no shoes. Blew it off. Blew it off some more. After listening to her WHINE for an entire NIGHT last week I looked at it and...damn. Infected. Dosed her up with antibiotics, soaked it in hot salt water, elevated it, used SAID's for when she had to wear shoes and then...looked at the shoes. Went from a kid's size four to a women's size 6-1/2 in her soccer shoes. Her TRAVEL soccer shoes because she plays four days a week and...her shoes were too little. Just a little more tarnish on the Mother Of The Year crown.

Today is high school homecoming and...do you know I cannot REMEMBER my high school homecomings? At all. I know there are some awesome stories...we had a carpenter-in-training who made our senior homecoming the greatest ever but I only know that because someone ELSE remembers it. Thank you, God, for digital cameras in my kids' lives...no, in MY life for the past ten years.

We potentially had a FREEZE last night!!!!! Like...COLD WEATHER!! I am so psyched...I may run out and cut some wood. (I never HAVE, but I COULD.) And socks...I need to go buy some socks. Haven't been outside to check but...just the notion is exciting.

I hope someone kicks Balloon Boy's parents' ass. Collectively.

We have another orphan...an abandoned kitten. Barely alive. On our way to spend God-only-knows on kitten formula and a nursing bottle. Oh! Hey! THERE ARE ONLY SEVEN OTHER CATS HERE. I live in constant fear that the first time I get sick? My kids are going to assume it's only natural to flush me, feed me to the animals or bury me in a shoebox. I think I'll make them read...what's the EAP story? The movie has Vincent Price...he buries his sister alive...the boyfriend tries to...Usher, House of Usher.

Y'all make sure I'm not breathing.

7 comments:

City Girl said...

I [heart] my crock pot. I use it on a weekly basis during the winter.

Balloon Boy should be taken away from those sick people for the simple fact they named the child FALCON.

Awww! New baby kitten! Vital stats, please: coloration, physical features, name.

Country Girl said...

VITAL STATS? Ugly. Ten days old ugly. $25 worth of bottle/formula/stuff. TNK is out of school today but starting tomorrow? WHO THE HELL is going to have to feed this rat-impersonator every two hours? THE MAMA, that's who.

Amylouwho said...

This is a great cookbook for the crockpot. I refuse to use condensed soup in mine, so this is a great alternative. http://www.amazon.com/Your-Mothers-Slow-Cooker-Cookbook/dp/1558322450/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1255963964&sr=8-1

Donna in AL said...

Yep, I bought socks yesterday and there was frost this morning in Bham. I had to warm the car before leaving at 6 this morning.
I asked for a large crock pot for Christmas last year. I love it. Just put Butt Rub on a Boston butt put it in it frozen and forgetaboutit! You don't even have to chop it up.

Lisa said...

Count your blessings for the ONE kitten. This morning, DH picked up not one, not two, but THREE dogs that were running smack down the middle of I-20/59. Two boys and a girl, and guess what? She's in heat, and therefore, probably preggers. I can't find a no-kill shelter or rescue org that will take them, and I am at the END of my rope.

I'll trade the dogs for the kitten. ;-)

Country Girl said...

Kitten died. Just too little. They had it buried before I got home from welding class...HAVE I MENTIONED I NEED Y'ALL TO CHECK MY PULSE BEFORE ANYONE EVER PUTS ME IN THE GROUND?

Country Girl said...

Off to buy this cookbook because YOU said so...and your name is AmyLou which is what I've been called for 53 years. That works.