01 October 2009

The Roof is on Fi-yah

So. What did you do today?

*I* tried to burn down my house.

There I was, working in the dining room this morning, tap-tap-tapping on my electronic tumor when the power went out. Nice. Look out the window, find four city trucks up and down the street. Ah. They're working on the lines today.

Worked on the laptop for another hour until the battery died. Picked up laptop, power cord, BlackBerry, charger, iTouch and that charger, unceremoniously shoved them into a bag and headed to the library a few blocks away.

Called Hub on the way.

"The City turned off the power."
"Right. I forgot to tell you they're working in the neighborhood for a couple of hours today."
"No problem" says I. "I'm headed to the library - I'll work there for a few hours."

Here's the tricky part: A couple of hours is not the same as a few hours. The power was off for two. I was gone for three.

Before the power went out I was boiling eggs for lunch. Egg salad. Pot of water on the stove, few eggs, eye turned up to 'high.'

When the lights went off I failed to turn off the stove.

Left the house. With the stove turned on. On HIGH.

Three hours later I returned to the house and noticed the smell of smoke before I got to the front door.

That's a bad thing. FYI.

I don't really remember the next 30 minutes, but I managed to get the cats (who are all just fine, thanks) secured, the windows and doors opened and myself out of the house with only minor smoke inhalation.

No joke - three eggs filled the entire house (closets, drawers, every nook and cranny) floor to ceiling, with rank, sulphurous smoke. Have you ever been to St. Lucia? Then you know what my house smells like.

So here I sit, on the deck beside every soft furnishing I could drag from the south end of the house...trying to air it out. Load three of approximately 30 is swishing away in the washing machine and I'm trying to decide if it is too early for bourbon.

The freakiest thing? The house was filled not only with smoke but with FLIES. Like, FIFTY FLIES all swarming at the windows, trying to get out. How in the HELL did they get IN there?

It was like the Amityville Horror. ::shudder:: Yeah...it's cocktail time.

PS - That is not my egg. That is some other idiot's egg. My eggs are hermetically sealed in the pot in which they were cooking. The lid is actually fused to the pot. That was one hot motherlovin' pot.

6 comments:

Ambiance in the Attic said...

Oh! No! You poor thing! How horrifying it must have been to come home to that. What did the hubby say? I am so glad that you and the cats are ok. It could have been much worse. Is there anything I can do for you?

Melissa said...

DOH!

I have a similar story with garbanzo beans. Oops. :)

But glad to see everything is ok, if a bit smelly...

City Girl said...

All's well - thanks. Everything really, really does stink. Hub is totally sympathetic. I think he freaked a little bit when he saw how freaked out I was... and he suggested we get a room ionizer to take the smell out of the upholstered furniture. Everything else has to be washed down with vinegar. Nice. Easter in October.Oh, joy.

The Peach Tart said...

Oh I know that nasty smell. Bless your heart.

Comet Girl said...

Next time don't put the lid on the pot. It's really cool when the eggs explode!

Indigo said...

Oh my gosh, you are lucky you came home when you did. Years ago we lived in a duplex, I was busy doing step aerobics in the living room (nice visual hey?), hubs comes racing in the house and says "why is the basement filled with smoke?" Good Lord the upstairs tenants furnace was on fire! The basement was a sooty smokey mess. Ugh.