05 November 2009

Remember, Remember the Fifth of November

For our few readers not living in England, I should point out that today is Guy Fawkes Day.

Which makes me wonder: Why haven't effigy burnings ever caught on in the U.S.?

Over the last decade we've all witnessed, on television, hundreds of effigies of George Bush being burned in the Middle East...Africa...Europe...Canada....

Anyway, you see my point. Burning a paper likeness of an disliked leader is a tradition in the global community. Except in the U.S.

I don't recall many paper Bush burnings in the Midwest. Or burnings of FEMA officials in New Orleans. Or burnings of St. Louis Cardinals players in Chicago.

Why is this? It certainly isn't that we're too polite or genteel. Are we too uptight? Most likely we're too concerned about how it will look to the neighbors.

I'll bet if Brad and Angelina burned, say,
Octomom, it would catch on quickly.

Oooo! That's it! We could start by burning annoying pop culture figures and work our way up to politicians.

Burn effigies of Simon Cowell, Paris Hilton, John and Kate....

Come on, America! You're missing out on all the fun! And just think of the positive, stimulating effect the spike in paper, cardboard and lighter fluid sales would have on the economy. Hell, it's practically unAmerican NOT to burn an effigy today. Get to it!

6 comments:

Country Girl said...

I have a spouse who IMMEDIATELY comes to mind.

Melissa said...

Hmmm..may be on to something.

We could sell effigies like pinatas. Pick them up at the store. Very convenient. :)

Sunny said...

Does Burning Man count?

Mrs. Gamgee said...

Oooo... what about Vince (the Slap-Chop/Shamwow guy)?

Or maybe the person who thought up the Snug.gie?

alejna said...

Brilliant! I think you are on to something.

Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic said...

Let me know when we're having the Paris Hilton burning and I'll bring the marshmallows!!!