Again this morning with the "ESPN insiders" on the morning news programs!
Everyone wants to know what happened with Tiger. Oh, the mystery!
This man can't figure it out...that man has an opinion...the other guy thinks its a Republican conspiracy against black athletes - blah, Blah, BLAH.
Do you want to know what *really* happened? Ask a woman. More specifically, ask a woman who has been scorned.
This "mystery" has Caught With His Pants Down written all over it.
Here's how I think it played out (and as a golf fan, yes, I'm actually interested in this story):
1 a.m.: After a confrontation Tiger confesses to fucking around. Happy Turkey Day.
1:10: Elin (who is not exactly petite) locates his favorite golf clubs.
1:30: Elin begins chasing Tiger, swinging clubs at his head.
1:40: Tiger realizes she's serious about shoving his favorite driver up his ass.
1:42: Tiger locates car keys. Note to Buick: Keys to a Caddy.
1:43: Tiger hauls ass to the garage, with wife in hot pursuit, swinging wildly.
1:43:3o: Tiger backs down drive, wife makes contact with a vehicle window.
1:43:35: Wife makes contact with another vehicle window.
For the next sixty seconds she chases him down the drive, trying to pull his sorry ass through the car door so she can finish him off. He reaches over to lock the door, loses control of the vehicle and bada-bing, bada-boom, he lands in a ditch.
Well-meaning neighbor calls the cops and the rest is history.
What would be MORE embarrassing than a DUI in your own driveway, which, really wouldn't be all THAT embarrassing?
The revelation that Tiger can't keep his wood to himself.
Your Honor, I rest my case.