...but then, most of the last 30 years wasn't in the outline, either.
The Nice Kid is 14. She really is the nicest kid you'll ever meet...she actually LIKES you...for real. She's not faking: she doesn't want to be invited to your parties or stand in the hall with you or borrow your clothes. If she likes you? She's just being honest.
Kid is dumb as dirt.
We HAVE to have cell phones...typical day? I p/u The Not Nice Kid 20 miles away, take her to basketball practice 20 miles BACK, go back and pick up TNK, come back and pick up TNNK, go BACK and do something school-related and unnecessary and then...often? Go back again.
No big deal. It's my job. But for this? When you leave your kids in public places? THEY HAVE TO BE ABLE TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU. Plans change. Gyms are locked. Coaches get sick. Buses break down.
Which brings us to cell phones.
They each have one. Adequate for MY needs. Something happens? Call The Mama. She'll handle it.
Except TNK made an F on her last report card. And it wasn't over her grades; it was over work-not-turned-in. So.
You. Are. Grounded.
And your phone is cut off. Which is where "Parental Controls" come in. I put 10 numbers into her phone, and she can call any of those 10 numbers anytime. You have appendicitis in the middle of the street? You can call The Mama. You have blood or exposed bone? (The only criteria for which the school is allowed to call me.) You can call The Mama. When it's necessary? I'll take care of it. I always do. Call me, my sister, my brother or my mom. Call any family member and we will take care of the situation but...this TEN THOUSAND TEXTS A MONTH? That is SO over.
And then I get up this morning and...she has tried to hack into my account. Verizon is PISSED...reset everything. And THEN...turns out? This new love interest she thinks I don't know about?
ISN'T ON OUR CALLING PLAN. And with two weeks to go in our billing cycle, we are for-all-practical-purposes...OUT OF MINUTES.
The potential here is...ugly. REAL ugly. No one is up yet, and I am sitting here...calculating. One more mistake?
TracFone loves me. I'm it's best friend and did you know? You can get TracFone and then...limit the phone to one number. One number.
Call The Mama. I don't think I signed on for anything else and...you want to dance? I pay the band.