22 September 2010

Your Life: The Horror Movie


I have a suggestion for Daniel Myrick and M. Night Shamalamadingdong, and all the other writers, directors and producers in Hollywood wracking their brains to come up with the next great horror movie.

If you want to make a TRULY terrifying movie, base it on womens' real lives.

Viewed in a neutral venue, men won't recognize the horror, drama and suspense playing out on the screen as real-life instances taken from the lives of their mothers, wives and daughters.

Women will pay to see it just to feel better about their own lives. It'll make hundreds of millions of dollars, I tell ya.


The Week From Hell: You Can't Unlive It

More Gruesome than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My husband shot a boar this weekend - he put the filthy carcass in my new brand-new freezer.

More Terrifying than Blair Witch Project
My mother-in-law had surgery, so she's going to stay with us... for a month.

More Suspenseful than Silence of the Lambs
Pleaseohpleaseohplease let me get my period today.


More Redneck Fucked Up than I Spit on Your Grave
My daughter is sleeping with my old boyfriend...who is also her real father, but doesn't know it.

Your Life. Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.


2 comments:

Indigo said...

I love the new look! You just reminded me that while coming out of the movies last night (9pm & dark) with my family the theater was playing the music from Psycho. What's up with that?!

Comet Girl said...

::snort:: M. Night Shamalamadingdong! Good one!