Halloween costumes...every year, same old same old. We sit here, we talk about it, we discuss things and then, two days before, we panic and start running around trying to find COSTUMES. Preferably extremely cool costumes, dredged from one of the piles of stuff in the living room so they're FREE.
We've done okay in the past. Kids are pretty predictable...the first couple of years it's like dressing dolls. The Nice Kid's best Halloween costume EVER was one I made...a pumpkin with a clever painted face. Took me WEEKS, but was SO worth it. Trouble with that is...follow-up. The next year? Check out that pile, kid. You can use the lampshade if you're careful.
Then they get older and you have to buy costumes because it has to be Power Rangers or Mario or some such, and homemade just will not do. This is that period where you are almost totally out of the Cool Mom range...still tolerable, just not The Bomb. Going online and ordering something and paying EXTRA because yes, you still waited until two days before, buys you some extra coolness ;)
Luckily, this doesn't last too long but is replaced by...conforming to one's peers while wearing a costume no one else has. I wish I could remember what The Big Kid did...another one of those blank spaces ;( TNK is worrying the HELL out of me because...she doesn't go trick or treating but she DOES go to parties and...COOL is important. And MY suggestions aren't going over too well. Something popped up online a bit ago, suggesting Formal Apology as a costume. You get all decked out and wear a badge saying Apology. Formal Apology. I thought this was AWESOME...she wanted to look good and it's funny and...voila!
Her text? "Mom, I'm not going to a grown up party. Highschoolers don't appreciate humor."
Well. Excuuuuuse me.
THEN...you get older and get cute....the cuter and funnier the better. Extra points for witty. One year, I wore a black sweater with numbers pinned all over it...Someone You Can Count On. Another year I printed "Ceiling" on a t-shirt; carried one of those foam fists with an upraised index finger...Ceiling Fan.
The Big Boy works for a company with a subsidiary called Buccaneer so last year...yep. We bought clip-on hooks and attached a dollar bill to each earring. TNK's first Halloween, 15 years ago, we did the Black-eyed Peep thing...Peep being her nickname.
This year, TNK plans on going as a Twister game...spots painted on a white dress, a game spinner for a hat. SHE says she needs paint for the circles, I'm thinking I can work wonders with green peas, ketchup and a little cat pee. TNNK is Dr. Killjoy which involves, of course, scrubs and lots of blood and you just know SHE has no problem slitting a vein for the effect.
I just spent two months working on the GREATEST neighborhood Halloween event EVER...every year in my old neighborhood by the river we have a cookout, hayrides throughout the neighborhood and then a bonfire with my oldest besties. And since I'm no dummy, a couple of years ago we all started bringing a different bourbon to share.
My kids don't come. Better offers.
Have I got this parenting shit down or WHAT?