Last week I woke up, in the middle of the night, in a hideous sweat. I blamed it on the steak and red wine I'd had for dinner.
Sometimes, when I eat heavily late in the evening, it effects my sleep. That happens to loads of people -young people, even. Right?
The next night I had pasta and red wine.
I blamed the wine.
The following night, no wine, no sweat.
Eureka! It isn't hormones! It couldn't POSSIBLY be hormones. It's the wine.
Last night: no wine, buckets of sweat.
Well, fuck a duck.
This morning? I spent 10 minutes searching my office for my computer glasses.
As I was walking out the door to retrace my steps, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror - and found my glasses.
Of COURSE they were on top of my head. That's the oldest menopausal/middle-aged cliche in the book. Sweet Jeezus - if this is going to happen to me, can I get some original symptoms, please? Something with a little color? Something a little less...textbook-y?
So, here we go, kids. It looks like I'm crossing the threshold into Those Years.
I hope The Hubster survives.
Image attribution: Middle Age Barbie is all over The Interwebz...I have no idea who originally Photoshopped her. Sorry.