24 May 2011

Oh, shit, here we go

Last week I woke up, in the middle of the night, in a hideous sweat. I blamed it on the steak and red wine I'd had for dinner.

Sometimes, when I eat heavily late in the evening, it effects my sleep. That happens to loads of people -young people, even. Right?

The next night I had pasta and red wine.

More sweat.

I blamed the wine.

The following night, no wine, no sweat.

Eureka! It isn't hormones! It couldn't POSSIBLY be hormones. It's the wine.

Last night: no wine, buckets of sweat.

Well, fuck a duck.

This morning? I spent 10 minutes searching my office for my computer glasses.
As I was walking out the door to retrace my steps, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror - and found my glasses.

Of COURSE they were on top of my head. That's the oldest menopausal/middle-aged cliche in the book. Sweet Jeezus - if this is going to happen to me, can I get some original symptoms, please? Something with a little color? Something a little less...textbook-y?

So, here we go, kids. It looks like I'm crossing the threshold into Those Years.

I hope The Hubster survives.

Image attribution: Middle Age Barbie is all over The Interwebz...I have no idea who originally Photoshopped her. Sorry.

4 comments:

paul said...

break out the progesterone cream

Country Girl said...

As God is my witness, I will come drag your ass to The Pellet Man. Go. NOW.

Susan said...

Welcome to the dark side!

sam s said...

Birbie girl was really nice to see and it was awesome colors.
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