That would be...humor from wherever.
I don't have a car. Originally The Nice Kid was going to get a car for her 16th birthday. Not a NEW new car, but a new car to us. Then, she had an interesting year...$500 for a new radiator after she drove up from the farm doing about 50 mph. $1000 in new brakes when EVERY part of them had to be replaced. Apparently now, there's an armadillo waddling around Alabama with an oil pan on his head...don't have the bill for that one, yet. If you see him? Send him this way.
So she got my car. A used and abused Mama-Volvo, with a Catholic school tag on the front, a soccer magnet on one side and said Catholic school magnet on the other. No car seats any more, but dents, scrapes, old gum and fingerprints. Everywhere. She ain't cool, but she's safe ;) She could be brewing meth in the trunk and no one would look twice...boooorrriiinnng.
I haven't bought a loaf of bread or a gallon of milk in six weeks. Call and ask me to do something...come on. I DON'T HAVE A CAR!!!! I would LOVE to clean out the uniform room at school!! I was DYING to solicit funds for the upcoming fundraiser! I so WANTED to work the MG hotline!
Ooops. Can't do it. Don't have a car.
Obviously, I can only milk this for another couple of days. School starts shortly. But today???
Satisfaction is so sweet.
Since I haven't been doing the shopping, I've been sending for bare essentials. Milk. Bread. TP. Garbage bags...and they didn't get those right. So tonight, I finally had to look at the list and send for some serious shopping.
Four stores, people....FOUR stores. Aldi has cheap bread (100% whole wheat, not "Made With Whole Wheat".) Eggs. Milk. Kettle chips. Sandwich cheeses...not processed. Sandwich meats. Cleaners. Foodland is the only store that still carries whole fat buttermilk. WalMart has a quart of cream for $3. Dollar General has Yardley soap.
They thought I was being mean, for real. I've been doing this for them for YEARS, and no one had a clue. "What do you DO all day?" is taking on new meaning. FOUR STORES!!
Y'all...I'm sittin' here. Haven't moved. Four stores.
Odds are, I'll get less than half of what I requested but that's not the point.
Four stores. Four. Stores.