Saturday night, I'm headed to a gathering. I'm pissed off already. What to do, what to do?
We all know, I'm all about the kids. Had you asked in high school? My best friend, she who is childless, would have been the parent of at least six kids, with a couple more foster/neighbor kids thrown in for good measure? Me? Maybe one kid. Lots of schooling. Teaching and traveling.
What's that old saying? Life is God laughing when you make plans? Or something. Not only did I have three kid, I had them 20 years apart which means every time I got ready to do something...I had another kid. The last time, at 44, pretty much convinced me this is full-time. Last night was the elementary school Christmas program, the last one we'll ever participate in, and WE DIDN'T GO. The Not Nice Kid didn't try out for a part because she didn't want to learn the lines or be there at 7 am for a month, and I've been tired of these things for...about the last 10 years. So we didn't go. Didn't bother us, either. First thing this morning I have a text..."Where the hell WERE you? We stood in the back and bitched about being there and sure did miss you."
I told them...you're the next generation. I'm done! But then, because I have trained them well, we made a date for margaritas after the final basketball game of the season Saturday ;-) Women with kids are special like that ;-)
But I digress.
My point...I spent my life raising my kids, and I happen to think that, accident or no, it has been an awesome ride. They are three totally different, totally cool in each way, people. Some good some bad in each...lots of wonderfulness in all three. Do I think my way is the only way? HELL NO...it's not the way I CHOSE! And it never has seemed an issue...City Girl has no kids. She laughs at mine when they're there, and then sends them on their way. It never occurred to me...that she cares if I have kids. Never occurred to me to care she doesn't have kids. Just the way things are.
I grew up with a group of five boys, born the year before I was. Parents grew up together. We have a history. I spend five important holidays a year with them and their wives...about the only place left in my life I can let my hair down. Last gathering? Sitting outside, late at night, and I told something about someone and her job and her kid and Childless Wife A said, "I get so tired of women using their kids as excuses to get out of work."
Did you get that? CHILDLESS Wife A?
Should have kept my mouth shut. Didn't.
Brought up my college roommate, who has a degree in engineering and literally...took it to the house. By choice. Conversation deteriorated and Childless Wife B said, "You can always hire someone to look after your kids."
Repeat there...CHILDLESS Wife B.
There was a change of subject.
A week or so later, because it was bothering me so much, I asked City Girl...am I being unreasonable? I am seriously OFFENDED...I consider them IDIOTS, and selfish idiots at that. But I was willing to discuss the fact that maybe, just maybe, my outlook was scewed. (Spell check says that's not a word. It is around here, a version of "askew," so I'm wondering if I spelled it wrong. Damn.)
City Girl, God love her, immediately backed me up..."I get so tired of women who DON'T think that women with kids have it harder." (I would like to point out here that City Girl does more work in half a day than the two of them do together in a week. So there.)
So here I sit...it's Wednesday. I can either get over it, which isn't likely, or get madder and madder and end up causing an uproar at the last place on the planet I want to cause an uproar.
Or...I could bake the cake I said I'd bake, send it with The Big Boy along with my regrets and explain: I have something to do WITH MY CHILDREN. Which comes before time unwillingly spent with selfish hypochondriac bitchy witches.
Or witchy bitches.
Ho's can't cook, anyway.