23 November 2008

My Little Revenge

For all you "long time listeners first time callers" you'll recall - with wistful fondness, I'm sure - that Country Girl has...issues...with individuals of a certain political persuasion and the personalization of their vehicles. Vehicles which inevitably fall into one of two categories: Massive Urban Assault Vehicle or Merely Ostentatious.

For the Noobs in the crowd, I would provide a link to one of her now-infamous "W Sticker/Parent Confrontation" rants, but there are so many...follow the I Just LOOK Harmless tag at the end of the post and you're bound to come across a few.

While I've always shared her waste-of-oxygen-and-perfectly-good-carbs opinion of the members of this vocal demographic (they don't just quietly display their political preference on their bumpers but feel they have to point out said black adhesive-backed badge in the school parking lot or other public place and belittle anyone who doesn't share their choice of automotive accessories) I've pretty much kept quiet about it.

A natural martyr - I am of Polish extraction and Catholic, so the genetic predisposition to suffer silently is too overwhelming to fight - I've mostly kept my overactive yap shut on the subject.

But, since the election, I find myself exulting in the still-disbelieving disappointment of The W People. Heh-heh-heh. To my delight - and chagrin- I've finally, after all these years, finally embraced my inner petty bitch. Gotten in touch with the small masochistic side of my human-ness and am, shamefully, delighting in their overwhelming defeat. My ever-present concern over bad karma is completely out the window at this point.

I'm no scientist, but I believe this is the same part of the brain that enjoys witnessing, oh, I don't know, OJ go to prison or Ted Stevens lose his Senate seat or that poster boy for misogyny, Mel Gibson, land in a county jail. "You shure do got a pretty mouth, boy." Heh-heh-heh.

So yesterday, I left a little shop in town, a spring in my step, happy to be out of the house after a bout of illness. I got into my car and looked up at the back end of the newly (poorly) parallel-parked vehicle in front of me - huge, black SUV, natch - and focused, laser-like, cat-like ::rooowwrr:: on the sad, faded black "W" sticker in the rear window.

And then I had an idea.

I immediately picked up the phone to share my plan with the only person I know who is actually brave enough to execute and could talk me into following through on my idea- Country Girl. I left her a voicemail message:

"I want to take up a new hobby. I am going to get a pad of fluorescent Post-It notes - harmless, non-damaging Post Its - and on every, single page, with a big, black Sharpie write, 'NOT ANYMORE!' and I'm going to carry those Post-Its with me everywhere I go and whenever I see a "W" The President sticker I'm going to adhere a NOT ANYMORE! note below it. I won't damage any property, and really, they might not even care, but I'll know...." (insert diabolical laugh here).

Okay, so as far as diabolical schemes go, it doesn't exactly rank up there with the Lindburgh baby kidnapping, but it's mine and I'm proud of it.

Is it worth doing a little extra time in Purgatory for this petty crime? Hoooo, yeah! Would it be even more worthwhile if, say, YOU all joined in the fun? Well, shoot. As they say in the local vernacular, "That'd be better than a lap full of warm puppies."

::tee-hee:: I've always wanted to be a bad influence on someone! Play along, won't you?

4 comments:

Leilani said...

Oh DO IT!!!

I had a daft conversation 2 weeks ago with a woman who said philosophically....well no matter what happens, half the country will be unhappy.

I said, "Pardon?"

She explained patiently as if to a child, "Well if the democrats won, then the Republicans will be unhappy and that means half the country will be unhappy.."

I looked at her carefully, and said, "I see....so what percentage do the Libertarians and the Green Party and the fringe parties represent?"

I went on, "Given that you need to win the electoral vote by a majority, I'd say that less than half the country didn't get what it wanted. In this particular case, unlike the Gore Chad fiascos, Obama won both the popular vote and the electoral vote by an amazing majority..."

It all sailed over her head.

Hand me one of those sticky pads so I can staple it to her forehead...will you...

Thanks for visiting.

Tom said...

I will be buying said Post-it pads and applying them.
If, for whatever reason, you might find yourself in need of a McCain-Palin Victory 2008 t-shirt, I happen be able to lay my hands on about 300 of them. They were donated to my work after the election to clothe the homeless and most of them won't wear them. So if you have an effigy that needs that finishing touch, let me know. I can hook you up.

alejna said...

That is too funny. You know, I don't see too many W stickers around these parts. Thankfully.

But I do enjoy the thought of you out there with your post-its! Can you snap a picture here or there?

And Tom's comment about the excess McCain-Palin shirt really amuses me. I'm not sure you could even pay me to wear one of those.

Le laquet said...

Lovely - that would be funnier than the sticker itself! And that anyone would have W - The President on the back of their truck (... I wont tell you what I call those vehicles in private, this is a public blog and not everyone likes my language) is already funny enough.