14 September 2009

So I'm a little slow...

...but it just hit me as funny, and I have laughed all day.

Remember, a couple of weeks back the neighbor kid (a 110-pound boy) beat the hell out of 70-pound The Not Nice Kid? And we had a serious...no, TWO serious redneck screaming matches out in the yard?

When TNNK came in crying, and told that the boy had held her down by her neck and beat her face with his closed fist, I had had enough. (While he is normally the sweetest, most helpful child on the planet, this kid has anger issues and about twice a year...loses his shit. This time, MY kid was in his path.) So I stormed out of here and knocked on their door.

And no one answered.

Now, YOUR kid beat the hell out of MY kid less than two minutes ago and when he realized what he'd done he went high-tailing it into the house so...unless there's some secret passage I don't know about, YOU ARE IN THERE. Finally, when they didn't come to the door (a digression...they don't come to the door when the local rescue squad calls collecting donations. They DO, however, CALL the rescue squad ambulance everytime FAT ASS has a twinge. I'm just sayin'.)

I knocked more than once. They didn't answer. So finally, I pushed open the door and called the mom's name. No answer. I called again and finally after the third or fourth time I hear her get up, come through the kitchen and I swear, she walked down the steps and said,

"Kevin's smelling the dog right now."

Now, at the time, I was so mad I just started yelling but later on...

"Kevin's smelling the dog right now."

As opposed to...WHAT? Licking the walls?

"Kevin's smelling the dog right now."

Turns out, that's what started the fight. THEIR pit bull had MY cat in his mouth and when he wouldn't put it down TNNK sprayed the dog with wasp killer. But I didn't KNOW that so...

"Kevin's smelling the dog right now."

Great. Let me know when he's not busy. There's a little something I'd like to discuss with him.

3 comments:

The Peach Tart said...

This is just crazy.

Sunny said...

Don't you just love living in the rural south?

Anonymous said...

That's all she could come up with? Brilliant!

Rachel