08 September 2009

You Are Now Leaving Cougartown

Do you know what is really, REALLY just irritating the ever-lovin' crap out of me lately?

Cougars.

If you Google "cougar" the first search result has nothing to do with mountain lions. Ho, no. The first result is an ad reading, "Cougars and Younger Men: www.dateacougar.com"

I sit before you today, at my keyboard, to officially call "bullshit" on the cougar label.

We've covered this before, but it bears repeating: I am not a feminist. I believe in equal pay for equal work, but I also believe that men should open doors for women.

As someone firmly planted in the middle of the road, even I think this Cougar bullshit double-standard has gone waaaay far enough.

According to Hollywood, Madison Avenue, Mt. Olympus and wherever else the arbiters of what is socially acceptable reside, a middle-aged woman who dates a man more than a few years her junior is slapped with a title that likens her to a stone-cold predator.

BUT, a middle-aged MAN who dates a woman who is more than a few years younger, is just a Guy. A Man. Normal. Or, if anything, A Lucky Bastard.

Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit.

You know, if you think about it, Older Women/Younger Men is AKT-CHEW-ALLY more logical than Older Men/Younger Women. This, THIS should be the norm.

Look at it this way, when a woman meets a man, she wants him to know what he's doing in the sack, if you know what I mean. And I know you do.

How is a 25-year-old guy supposed to learn anything from a 23 year-old girl? He SHOULD be dating a woman who 1. is in her sexual prime, as he is 2. has been around the bed a few times 3. can SHOW him what a woman wants. Dude then takes this knowledge and applies it to younger women, who then learn what good sex is. As opposed to mindless groping.

It's the circle of life. Young guy learns from older woman - young guy then teaches young girl...who eventually becomes older woman...at which point the now matured guy dumps not-so-young-anymore woman for a newer model, resulting in the more common older man/younger woman scenario. Dumped older woman - in her prime - finds new young guy who, frankly, can keep it up a lot longer, and the cycle starts over again.

Follow?

So rather than everyone enduring an entire decade (their 20s) of bad sex, young girls should date older men, while young guys date older women. The elders teach the youngers, and then everyone meets, much more satisfied, in the middle at, say, 30. People really shouldn't get married before 30 anyway.

AND nobody gets slapped with some stupid label like "Cougar."

Damn. Now I'm in the mood for a really rare hamburger. ::mmmrrrrooooowwww::

6 comments:

Mrs. Gamgee said...

I have always despised the double standard that defines men and women and their sexuality. I recall a teacher once telling me that the number of derogatory words that apply to women alone outnumber those that apply soley to men by something ridiculous like 20 to 1.

Gah... ok, getting off my soapbox.

Nina said...

I don't care what they say. The next time, I'm marrying for money, hotness, and his complete inability to pay attention to anyone but me! All excellent qualities to have in a boy toy.

Alicia said...

all i can say is that if one of these so called 'cougars' every comes around of my boys they're gonna meet the 'mama bear' real quick.....hussies.

Bruce Coltin said...

And, she can show the young guy how to shoot pool and win, in Kansas. Excellent and wise post!

Country Girl said...

I now know what the term "morbid fascination" means...it's a show called "Addicted to Beauty". I think it's a reality show but there are these two FREAK women on there...touting beauty. They are OBSCENE...and one of them described herself as a "cougar." I didn't know what it meant at the time!

Donna in AL said...

Damn. Now I'm in the mood for ....

Thought you were going to say ...
hot sex!