Bagpipes and Geiger Counters

I need a new ringtone.

Well, I don't need one, but I want one.

Which, of course, means I can't find just the right one.

It's like having to find a pair of bone, peep-toe slingback pumps - if you've just gotta have 'em you'll never find 'em.

So a guy I know - an IT guy - has a ringtone that sounds like an old internet dial up.

EEEEEEE-KAAAAWWWWWWW-KSHKSHKSHKSHSKH

It's brilliant. Annoying as hell, but brilliant.

So I decided I wanted bagpipes on my ringtone. My company-issue phone is one of those ridiculously accessory-loaded jobbies (I use exactly two of the accessories) that has better sound than the stereo at home.

I set my hearts on bagpipes. I love the pipes. I should have been part-Scot rather than part-Derbyshire-ish. I have Robert Burns in my heart and bagpipes in my blood. Maybe that's why I'm magnetically attracted to Scottish dudes....

But I digress.

So have you tried to find a bagpipe ringtone online? A bagpipe tune that doesn't make your ringing telephone sound like a tin music box? Good luck.

Then I thought, "Geiger Counter!" You know, the sound a Geiger counter would make if you took it to Bikini Island.

SCHHHHCCCCRWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Less brilliant, but still cool.

But only to me, apparently, because neither iTunes or anybody else seems to be overly anxious to corner the market on Geiger counter ringtones.

So here I sit with my boring old ringtone, open to suggestions.

Anyone?