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Obama vs. McCain Dance-Off

on October 26, 2008

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Jib-Jab: The Next Generation

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Keeping in mind I failed Math 100 THREE times...

...at this point in time, it's working for me. Took my kids to the beach a couple of weeks ago and they were all three there. Nicest vacation in I can't remember. When we made our grocery store run when we got there...they had these inner tubes. Floats. BIG round brightly colored circles...for $6.99. Cool beans! We'll float on them a day or so, they'll get holes and we'll throw them away! I LOVE me some vacation! Problem is, The Big Kid is of drinking age. Which means, every day we rented those loungers with the umbrellas and after we'd had a seafood lunch with lots of cold beer, we'd go to the beach and she and I would sit there under the umbrella and watch The Little Kids swim. And drink more cold beer. For some reason, at the beach? Cold beer goes down faster. So long about the fourth day, sometime in the afternoon, I decided I could ride that float in. I mean...how hard can it be? You go out a ways, climb up on the float, a wave comes in and you gently ...

My Take on Tiger

Again this morning with the "ESPN insiders" on the morning news programs! Everyone wants to know what happened with Tiger. Oh, the mystery! This man can't figure it out...that man has an opinion...the other guy thinks its a Republican conspiracy against black athletes - blah, Blah, BLAH. Do you want to know what *really* happened? Ask a woman. More specifically, ask a woman who has been scorned. This "mystery" has Caught With His Pants Down written all over it. Here's how I think it played out (and as a golf fan, yes, I'm actually interested in this story): 1 a.m.: After a confrontation Tiger confesses to fucking around. Happy Turkey Day. 1:10: Elin (who is not exactly petite) locates his favorite golf clubs. 1:30: Elin begins chasing Tiger, swinging clubs at his head. 1:40: Tiger realizes she's serious about shoving his favorite driver up his ass. 1:42: Tiger locates car keys. Note to Buick: Keys to a Caddy. 1:43: Tiger hauls ass to the garage, wit...

Francis Xavier

Everyone, this is Francis. Francis, this is everyone. Francis is also known as Frankie, Frankie Monster, Frankenkitten and FX. We weren't supposed to keep Francis. He was supposed to be Chief Rodent Control Officer at our business, since that's where Hubster found him. Backstory. So one day Hub was working outside his office/warehouse when he hears a little, "mew-mew-mew." Walks over to a ditch and spys a little, tiny - TINY - black and white fuzzball. He speaks to the fuzzball. Fuzzball speaks back. Fuzzball climbs out of ditch and follows Hub up - what must have appeared to him to be - a giant set of concrete steps and into the warehouse. Fuzzball hides in warehouse. Fuzzball is quick...no one can catch him. Hubster sets out food and water...fuzzball eludes capture for two days. Enter the Cat Whisperer. By the end of day three, fuzzball lets me get close enough to him so that when he drops into a dead kitten sleep, I'm able to nab him and take him to the vet. ...

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