Shopping has never been one of my favorite things...I missed that gene. (That's okay...I got two Mexican food genes for compensation.) So I'm pretty good at planning my excursions in order to elicit the least pain in the shortest amount of time. Pretty good.But then...THEN...there are those women. Right now we'll skip the fat ones riding the carts in the GROCERY STORE (if you're too fat to walk, you are in the WRONG damn place), and the 65-year-old debutantes driving their shopping carts down the MIDDLE OF THE AISLES (traffic to the right, bitch, traffic to the right.) and move right on to TODAY's gripe...
We patiently stood in line with our goodies. The lady in front of me had a child who was minding his own business. The guy behind me was buying sausage and chips and I was hoping he had beer at home. We waited. The lady at the checkout checked EVERY item she bought against the sale paper. Every. Item. That's okay...you don't want to pay more than you have to and I UNDERSTAND that but...hurry it up. Just a little.
She didn't.
So we waited and she argued and we called backup and we waited. It was still okay. Nice day. No rain. Life is good. And FINALLY the checkout person gets done, the customer is satisfied, we're moving along and then...
She goes for her purse.
LADY!!! DID YOU NOT KNOW YOU HAD TO PAY FOR THIS?? I am not making this up...we went through that entire ordeal and then took another five minutes for her to rummage through her purse, pull out a wallet, find a card, swipe it, peer at the machine, piddle with it, get her stuff.
LADY!! I'M PRETTY SURE WHEN YOU CAME IN YOU KNEW YOU HAD TO PAY FOR THIS STUFF. I might be wrong...you may have been misinformed but I DON'T THINK SO. Why in the hell would you stand there that entire time and make no preparation to pay for your purchases? Did you not EVER notice the line behind you?
And then, to add insult to injury and just in CASE we weren't pissed off enough, she stood there a full two more minutes and checked her receipt. Checked. Her. Receipt. Checked her receipt.
The guy behind me went to swap his now-spoiled bananas for good ones and I made sure my milk hadn't passed its expiration date. And I probably need to call and make sure I DIDN'T MISS A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY while I was standing there. Just in case.
Comments
So you KNOW that I stand behind her the whole time tapping my check card ("Welcome to the 20th - she's not ready for the 21st - Century!) on the counter. I KNOW the bitch has a check card! You can't open a checking account anymore without automatically getting a pair of them in the mail. And if her husband won't "LET" her have a check card or a credit card? It's time to fix ol' Earl a big mess of tainted black-eyed peas. (That's a Dixie Chicks reference for our international, urban and/or Republican readers).
Oh, and my mother-in-law doesn't know how to use an ATM machine. SERIOUSLY. I could go on forever about that woman...
I feel bad taking the 30 seconds to pop my wallet back in my purse, even after moving the cart away so the world can carry on. I don't understand these people who stand there holding up the line to put all their stupid shit back into their purse like it's those Russian nesting doll sets.
Dory
then move over, and THEN check their receipt. That's why they have a "Customer Service" desk people!
When I get behind people like that I like to sigh really loudly and shift around a lot, you know to make it obvious that they are totally pissing me off. Every once in awhile I like to throw out a "Oh my God, seriously!?" and get the people standing behind me involved on the public chastising -- you know, just to spice things up a bit. ;-) And you know what they say -- safety in numbers! ;-) Are they going to mess with a whole line of people? No, I don't think so. One of these days I'll probably get thrown in jail for my behavior but I'm going to enjoy the ride until I do!! ;-)
Oh, and don't even get me started with people that write checks! I could blow a freakin' gasket over that shit! HELLO TO ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD THAT WRITE CHECKS -- IT'S YOUR CHOICE TO STAY IN THE DARK AGES BUT DON'T FREAKIN' START WRITING THE CHECK AFTER ALL THE SCANNING HAS BEEN COMPLETED! Sheesh! Get with it people!
Whew! I feel better after getting that off my chest! ;-)