Since CG1 and I are still clinically brain dead from NaBloPoMo, please enjoy another installment of, "Eighties Christmas Songs: What the Hell Were They Thinking?"The Hoser 12 Days of Christmas
"Okay, everyone's been asking for it, so here it is, our Twelve Days Of Christmas. We're gonna sing it now...."
Bob: Okay now. This is our Christmas song, in case you don't know what to get somebody for Christmas.
Doug: There's lots of ideas in here, so, listen, and don't get stuck.
Bob: Okay.
Doug: By the way, that's me on the organ.
Bob: Aw, geez.
Doug: You start.
Bob: Okay. On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a beer.
Doug: On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: two turtlenecks,
Bob: And a beer. (Okay...) On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: three French toast,
Doug: Two turtlenecks,
Bob: And a beer. (Okay...)
Doug: There should be more there, eh?
Bob: Where? On the... go.
Doug: Fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: four pounds of backbacon,
Bob: Three French toast,
Doug: Two turtlenecks,
Bob: And a beer.
Doug: In a tree. See, you need more.
Bob: Fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: five golden touques!
Doug: Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob: Three French toast,
Doug: Two turtlenecks,
Bob: And a beer, what was it?
Together: In a tree!
Bob: Okay, on the sixth... go.
Doug: Of Christmas, my true love gave to me: six packs of two-four,
Bob & BG Singers: Five golden touques!
Doug: Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob: Three French toast,
Doug: Two turtlenecks,
Bob: And a beer,
Together: In a tree!
Bob: Okay.
Doug: Okay.
Bob: On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: seven packs of smokes,
Doug: (Nice gift...) Oh, six packs of two-four! (BG Singers also sing "nice gift".)
Bob & BG Singers: Five golden touques!
Doug: Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob: Three French toast,
Doug: Two turtlenecks,
Bob: And a beer,
Together: In a tree!
Bob: Right, I keep forgetting.
Doug: Phew! This should just be the two days of Christmas, it's too hard for us!
Bob: Um...
Doug: Go, hoser.
Bob: Oh.
Together: Eigth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Doug: Eight comic books,
All: Seven packs of smokes, six packs of two-four,
(Bob and Doug become unsynchronized with the BG Singers, and quit singing.)
BG Singers: Five golden touques! Four pounds of backbacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks,
All: And a beer,
Doug: On my tree!
Bob: Yeah. That beer's empty. Okay. Day,
BG Singers: Twelve!
Bob: Uh, twelve.
Doug: Good day, and welcome to day twelve.
BG Singers: Five golden touques!
All: Four pounds of backbacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks, and a beer, in a tree!
Bob: Beauty, eh?
Doug: Where'd you learn to do that?
Bob: Uh, albums.
Doug: Boy. So, like, that's our song, Merry Christmas...
Bob: Merry Christmas!
Doug: And good day!
Bob: Good day, everybody. Happy New Year, too. Sheesh. Okay, you know what you left out?
Doug: What?
Bob: Donuts - I told you to get me donuts! Either on the ninth day or the tenth day, or the eleventh day, I wanted donuts!
Doug: Okay, the song's over.
Bob: But I want...
Doug: Merry Christmas, everybody!
Bob: Or on the twelfth day, you coulda got me a dozen donuts.
Doug: So, go out to the stores, and get some presents.
Bob: You coulda gone down to, like, the good donut shop, where if you buy a dozen, you get another one free, and then thirteen for the thirteen days of Christmas.
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