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Luke, I Am Your Labrador

on September 03, 2010

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Why Dogs Bite People - CGCG Style.

f Friday Funny

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Oh, HELL no

Wonder what's got me fired up this morning? Here's a little hint: "Why Bosses are Right to Distrust Women Who Don't Want Children." W. T. F. Full Disclosure: I do not have children. At various points in my past - and for long intervals - it would have been entirely inappropriate for me to have had a child and so I actively avoided pregnancy. When all the stars did finally align and my life straightened out, it turned out I couldn't have children - probably was never able even when I was spending a freaking fortune on Pills. To all you Pfizer stockholders out there, You're Welcome. I also never felt that deep maternal spark that drives women to crave, to absolutely need children. I understand that I am in the minority, that many - if not most - women who can't have children feel horribly cheated and go to great lengths, at great personal risk - financial, medical, emotional, marital, you name it - to have a traditional family. I totally get that. I don

Keeping in mind I failed Math 100 THREE times...

...at this point in time, it's working for me. Took my kids to the beach a couple of weeks ago and they were all three there. Nicest vacation in I can't remember. When we made our grocery store run when we got there...they had these inner tubes. Floats. BIG round brightly colored circles...for $6.99. Cool beans! We'll float on them a day or so, they'll get holes and we'll throw them away! I LOVE me some vacation! Problem is, The Big Kid is of drinking age. Which means, every day we rented those loungers with the umbrellas and after we'd had a seafood lunch with lots of cold beer, we'd go to the beach and she and I would sit there under the umbrella and watch The Little Kids swim. And drink more cold beer. For some reason, at the beach? Cold beer goes down faster. So long about the fourth day, sometime in the afternoon, I decided I could ride that float in. I mean...how hard can it be? You go out a ways, climb up on the float, a wave comes in and you gently

What's the Season?

For some reason I'm having a really hard time getting into the holiday spirit this year. "It's December! It's Christmas! Fun! Food! Parties!" they say. "Meh." I say. **** So I asked myself, "What's the best way to elevate my mood?" "Alcohol?" My Cerebral Cortex and Limbic System guessed in harmony, as my liver groaned. "Ooo! Ooo! I know this one! Chocolate!" chimed in the tongue. "Shut up, all of you. The answer is music - Jeez, where have you been for the last four decades? Don't you know her at all?" snarked my tough, little heart. Onto iTunes I went last night, buying a sleigh-load of holiday music. When I looked back at the songs I'd selected, I realized they were all modern covers of Christmas classics. WHO, I ask you, doesn't love Springsteen's version of Santa Claus is Comin' to Town ? Ah, that Clarence and his new saxophone get me every time. So here's the deal: Let's us - y

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