Oh, let's put me on the SPOT

The reason I've never done this, in public, is that I'm only funny when I'm drinking. Then, I tell stuff I have no business telling.

We were in San Antonio once. At a manufactured housing convention which means we were sitting around with a bunch of trailer trash who were richer than God. And one of the guys from another company was riding my husband about the fact that my husband drives whatever is in the driveway, until it stops. Then he leaves it on the side of the road, takes whatever I'm driving, I buy a new one of what I had, and we go on. We've been doing this for 22 years. It works.

Only this guy will NOT shut up. About my husband's car. And finally he turns to me and says, "How can a girl like you be married to a guy driving a car like that?" And the San Antonio Margaritas in possession of my mouth said, "When your dick's halfway down to your knees, you don't NEED a new car. Bet you drive a Porsche."

Only the guy on the other side of the table was the mayor of San Antonio. Or at least the bartender. (He DID think it was funny.) So now, I try not to do this stuff in public. Which is how we got to the green tea bag in the bourbon.