SHE's killing me

See. I didn't know Alabama played this weekend until about six o'clock tonight. Accidentally called a friend to ask about a track meet weekend. So, I'm already behind. But did I do anything productive today? FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK.

This person came to my house today. Home health care nurse. I'M NOT SICK. Well, okay, maybe I'm sick for five days. But after that, well...just don't get in my way. Because the injustice of this entire situation is weighing heavily on my mind.

The visitor was a 37-year-old female. FIVE kids. Three girls, 14, 12 and 10. Twin six-year-old boys. Damn. That's a house-full. turns out she's divorced. Left the husband because he didn't love her and didn't want the kids. (The money wouldn't have influenced ME. Buckhead...what a waste.)

This only carries weight if you know that this entire time, we're doing a come-to-Jesus meeting (while I have an IV dripping into my veins). Not for ME, thank you, but in terms of her and her life and her kids and her mistakes. And after the first jaw-dropping revelation, I pretty much just left my mouth hanging open. Saved energy. Didn't have to close it again.

So we talk about leaving someone who doesn't love you and what Our Lord Jesus Christ has to say about that. And we count the drips. And the phone rings and I answer it. And then she says, Well, I got really lonely and had an affair with a guy from my church. Family friend. Our daughters were in Girl Scouts together.

Good thing I hadn't closed my mouth.

So I GUESS I said the appropriate thing and that damn drip got slower and slower and then...good thing my mouth was still open. Turns out? The twin boys? THEY WERE FROM THE AFFAIR. And she didn't tell anyone for two years. Then she told the husband, and then she got a divorce. And left metropolitan Southern area and moved to a seriously rural area. And then when the boys didn't understand why they weren't invited to...wooops. Southern metropolitan area...she sat her three daughters down and told them the story. She had already sat her mother and grandmother down and told THEM the story.

Have I mentioned these people are fundamentalist Baptists?

Keep in mind there is no WAY I can tell this the way it happened. One inch at a time. While I had a few other things to worry about. But she was WONDERFUL, and if I ever have to go through anything like this again, I want her.

So she gets up to leave? After we're pretty sure I'm not going to die THIS afternoon? And picks up her keychain and shows me the guy she'd dating. WHO SHE MET ON MATCH.COM.

I swear...I was in my house. Rod Serling was not here. My stuff is still here and I think my feet are on the ground. Update after the saucer gets the hell out of my tomatoes.


City Girl said…
Undeniable truth number 8,374.3020: The best trashy gossip is Fundamentalist Trashy Gossip.

They're putting the FUN back in Fundamentalism!