Home Sweet Monster Mortgage

It hurts my heart to think of the families on the shit end of the mortgage lending stick who worked hard, paid taxes and saved money for a down payment on their own split-level piece of the American Dream, only to fall victim to predatory lenders and lose it all. (See Special Place in Hell tag).

However, I have nothing but contempt and loathing in my spleen for my fellow middle-class Americans who took out zero-down mortgages, and second mortgages, on McMansions so as to keep up with the Joneses.

Up and down treeless sub-divided streets these houses are in foreclosure, driving down the value of homes owned by responsible borrowers.

Let me just ask: WHAT exactly is wrong with living within your means?
Why is it shameful to live in a house you can afford? And why do people think there’s something wrong with somebody who is happy with what he or she has?

Do two adults and two children need five bathrooms? HELL NO. I’m sorry, you can argue with me all you like that it’s the American way to want more. But I’m going to argue right back that there is a world of difference between WANTING more and PRETENDING TO HAVE more.

If you can actually afford five bathrooms and an atrium, knock yourself out. If you’ve got it, go on and flaunt it.

However, if you are an average earner you have no FREAKING business posing in a 5,000 square foot cookie-cutter, brick and vinyl monstrosity of which you can only decorate the front 1,500 square feet (for your Junior League peers to enjoy) while the rest of your Crass CastleTM sits empty because you’ve maxed out your credit cards and can barely make the minimum payments. :: breath :: But The Leaguers don’t suspect a thing. Know why? Because they don’t actually give a shit about you so they don’t bother to look closely enough to see the cracks in the fa├žade.

Why are you living to make – or not make as is recently the case – a mortgage payment? You have no savings, no retirement and now your house isn’t worth squat. What you DO have are two kids who will apply to universities in a few years, but you have no way of paying for their educations. So they’ll start out their adult lives with a load of student loan debt and a completely distorted concept of what happiness is. Because YOU were never happy with what you had. That’s your legacy. Congratulations.

Again: Where the hell is Susan Powter when you need her? STOP THE INSANITY!

Image Credit: ironictimes.com


Country Girl said…
Well said. The earner in this house makes an extremely comfortable income, and we live in a 1700 sqft vinyl siding house in a severely rural area. I learned several years ago...if I have to prove my worth to YOU, based on where I live, YOU AIN'T GOT NO BUSINESS BEING HERE. My parties are still better than yours. Because we laugh a lot.
comet girl said…
AMEN!!!!! TESTIFY! My husband and I were just discussing this. We decided that if each of us sold a kidney, maybe some of his sperm and a few of my eggs if they're not rotten, we could afford to upgrade to Heathrow and live in the smallest house in the neighborhood which would be a size downgrade (but cost twice as much) from where we are now but the status would be soooo much better!