A Series of Tubes

Octogenarian Senator Ted Stevens last year hysterically misidentified the internet (or The Internets, if you will) as a series of tubes, while maligning net neutrality - which he clearly did not understand. Not that anybody did understand the legislation, but apparently his staffers though it’d make him look…um… younger?.. relevant?... to get up and chime in on a tech issue.

Boy, that’s rich! Oldsters getting in on the web action! Like Grandma cruisin’ for a new beau on Myspace. LOL. LMAO.

:: crickets ::

Not so fast there, Sonny. The eldest of the Baby Boomers are now staking a claim in social networking. On The Internets. It’s the grooviest thing since the hula hoop, dontchaknow.

Touted as Myspace for Seniors, Eons.com looks more like a less-than-groovy iVillage than Facebook. The site includes hints on how to save money and stay mentally sharp. There are crochet groups and – sweet tapioca pudding – a hook-up area. :: shudder :: Also prominently featured are an obituary database and, oddly, a profile of Rudy Giuliani.

The site looks like it’s trying way too hard, though, with the “Boom It!” feature, imitating “Digg It.” Most disturbing is a search engine called “Cranky.” So instead of “Google it” you’re going to “Crank it.” Like a Model T. That’s just so wrong.

I don’t know why this site bothers me so much. Maybe it’s the thought of people like my mother and/or grandmother involved in social networking. Jeez. I can just imagine the telephone calls, “City Girl, I met a nice man from Nigeria on Eons. Can you help me set up online banking so I transfer my savings to his account?”