This doesn't seem to be going well

My phone, according to the intellectual with the big tits behind the counter at Verizon, is "fried." (I think that's a technical term.) Eight years of information is gone, there is nothing they can do about it but because I've been such a good customer since they gave me those two cans with the string 13 years ago, they will "give" me an exact replacement phone for $50. Let's went out at three months, ten months and 15 months and you're gonna do me a favor and "give" me another one.

I don't think so.

And then I drove hours through the rain to Birmingham to go to the Botanical Gardens Garden Tour and at noon yesterday when the power wouldn't stay on because the lightening that was supposed to HAVE PASSED THROUGH 24 HOURS AGO kept shorting everything out, I just started drinking. And then took a nap and came home.

So it wasn't a TOTAL lost cause, now was it? Except for the part where my friend, Mike, picked up the empty champagne bottle and said, "Well, gee, Amy." Honey, you ever been slapped through a plate glass window?