I've finally figured out what Republicans remind me of: High School Bitches.
They are the Heathers from everybody's high school experience.
Remember the cafeteria table populated by the coiffed and lip-glossed hate mongers who tortured everyone "beneath" them?
They traveled in a pack and would point and laugh at random kids the hallway, just to make them feel bad. They sat, en masse, at the rear of the classroom and made faces at you* when you had to present a paper. This, of course, assumes they in any way acknowledged your existence.
They hated everyone whom they viewed as socially inferior. (Enter the button above, sold at this coming weekend's Texas Republican Convention. Nice.)
BUT if you ever encountered one of the adolescent Ann Coulterites by herself she probably acted like a normal, civil human. Maybe she was even nice to you.
I never understood those girls in high school, and I've made no progress in the last 20 years figuring out this behavior.
Are insecure people more likely to identify themselves as Republican? Maybe.
Is it laziness? I guess it's easier to hate everyone outside your socio-economic demographic than make the effort to try to understand them. Probably.
Could I, right now, be accused of exhibiting this same behavior by condemning THAT demographic? You betcha. But at least I've spent a considerable part of this lifetime trying to understand it. Hell, I tried to fit it, but failed.
(To this day I am the only former vegetarian-Republican-who-dated-Jewish-guys I've ever met.)
Hmm...Throw in a chainsaw fetish and a Stephen Sondheim soundtrack and that sounds like the basis for a Tim Burton musical, no?
It's a long time until November, kids. And without Big Tim to regularly lift my political spirits I'm afraid this tiny spot in the blogosphere may take on a decidedly grey cast. But you - YOU - my friends can make me feel better by commenting and sharing your own political observations.
Go on. Comment. Help the crazy lady feel better.
*I assume - dangerous as that is - that if you regularly visit this blog you were never one of those girls or guys. If you were, and still visit, bully for you. Maybe you've amended your ways significantly enough to undo some of that fetid karma you accumulated during puberty. Here's hoping. ::clinking glasses::