Momma Pitches a Fit

Now, you all know that I am not a mother.
But I HAVE a mother.

So I am all too familiar with the expression, "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

Translation for the International Fan Club: If mother is unhappy, everyone is unhappy.

Today I pitched my first well-timed, well-placed bonafide Momma Fit and am pleased as punch with the results.

I will spare you the dull details of work politics, ass-covering, and the snail's pace at which decisions are made around the ol' office. If you work away from home you already know what it's like. If you work in the home you're better off not knowing. If you work in government stop reading right here because we have nothing on you folks.

Suffice to say that it pays to work at being The Calm Voice of Reason. The Logical One. The Creative Genius Anti-Christ.

Because when people are accustom to your serene presence it scares the ever-loving crap out of them that much more when you finally lose your nut. I can't believe it took me 41 years to finally realize the value of the perfectly-timed, out-of-character fit as opposed to a constant state of frazzled fit-ness, which I outgrew just about a year ago. Must be a 40s thing.

Anyhoodle, the is no moral or point this story ("Now she tells us?") I am just basking in post-fit afterglow.

Anybody have a cigarette?

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Comet Girl said…
Congrats on a well timed hissy-fit. I love 'em. You're becoming more Southern with each passing moment. You want to borrow my "It's All About Me" T-shirt?
hswilkinson said…
I am moving to quiet work with the occasional spaz session instead of my recent vocalness. I guess I'm moving that way earlier because I work for the government. :)
Country Girl said…
This technique also works within marriage, with a little adjusting. The secret there is to be MADDER than your spouse. Viciously, over-the-top fucking FURIOUS. But it's still all about the timing.
fatboyfat said…
I also find that long periods of reasonable placidity, interspersed with sudden and unannounced moments of crazy apeshit have quite an impact on those around me.