Well, THIS is a fine kettle of fish we're in...

...or something along those lines.

The Nice Kid came in last week with a sheet of paper outlining an essay she is supposed to write. The essay is entitled, "The Best Marriage I Know."

Wait. A sidebar here. When she left private school a year early to go to the city school, a teacher friend of ours told us up front, "You HAVE to get Mr. Graham for English. He is awesome." TNK's SAT graph looks like...a broken picket fence. That black bar for math and map skills? She's got a bump. Her language arts? Solid black all the way across. It's the way her brain is wired. Mr. Graham rewards the kids for good grades with...his raptor imitation. This involves jumping from the floor onto a desk while hooting (my description) like a raptor. The kids ADORE him. And Mr. Graham adores TNK. And he told her up front..."You are one of five kids in this school who can win this contest."

Y'all. We have no marriage to talk about. We cannot think of ONE really cool marriage. Not one.

The Big Boy and I? Oh, yeah. "My dad's a goofball so it's a really good marriage because my mom hasn't shot him. Yet."

My parents? "My grandfather has two ways...his and wrong and his was wrong to begin with. My grandmother invented the term "martyr."

My in-laws? "They were in lust so they ran off and got married two weeks after her 16th birthday and she has control issues and he would cut off his own foot if he could blame someone else."

My sister? Divorced her husband-with-five-artificial-body-parts after 30 years when he got mixed up in a credit union scam.

This isn't looking good.

My friends? BJ got a divorce after 30 years last fall. She went back to her high school sweetheart and says she's happy. I hope so. R&M have no children and their focus in life is health issues. Real, imagined and those-that-get-prescriptions. The 70+ couple across the street hate each other's guts, and I listen sympathetically to each of them on a regular basis. The morbidly obese couple next door eat with each other.

Y'ALL!!!!!!!!!! WTF? TBB's grandparents were married for over 75 years and were on the Today Show with Willard Scott. Did they have a happy marriage? Who knows? She was 13 and he was 19 when they got married and back then...that's what you did. They eloped in a buggy and it got stuck in a creek after the wedding. Does THAT make a good marriage?

As of last night, we're looking at the chickens. We have a beautiful white Cochin rooster, and a pretty little hen. They are inseparable. He thinks she's wonderful, she thinks he's wonderful, and they spend all their time together doing things. Like, eating. And then, eating. And then, scratching up something and eating. And he thinks she scratches beautifully and she thinks at 4:20 in the morning he crows beautifully and so...they give each other space, they admire each other's qualities and they are mutually gratified.

Let's hear it for the chickens.


City Girl said…
I think citing poultry passion and describing what miserable people can learn from happy hens is a stroke of GENIUS.

Her essay will certainly stand out from the bunch of "my gran and gramps have been married for 60 years" swill the other kids will turn in.
Laurel said…
She should absolutely write about the chickens! That is academic GOLD. And much easier to keep short, which is what any teacher reading essays really wants no matter what they say about word count.