I want my SPOON!

That would be my silver spoon. The spoon that would ensure that I can stop worrying about the state of the world and how we got here and what the HELL is going to happen to my kids. The spoon that says I don't need to check the price of meat or know how much the utility bill is.

No lie. I was crossing the bridge one day last week, coming home from school drop-off, and I turned on the radio. And all of a sudden it was like...overload. An epiphany. An Apocalypse. It just hit me all of a sudden that...I AM IN A BAD DREAM.

Now would be the time to wake up.

I grew up in the South in the United States of America and things were always good. There were ups and there were downs but we had the TVA (that would be an Alabama song), America had the prairies, the beaches, the Empire State Building and things always worked out. They did. Because that's what people DO. They have great lives and they improve themselves and they work hard and they take vacations and their kids ride bikes. It's The Way. They invent things and learn things and make things and build things and you leave it better than you found it.

But somewhere along the line we got off-track and today, today I decided that I AM TIRED OF THIS. I want my old life back.

I had to buy a refrigerator. A new one. Now, I could have waited and shopped around and checked here and checked there but the one I have has been dying for a week and I WANT COLD MILK. (I also need ice for the bourbon but I CAN buy that in a bag.) And in the old days...need a refrigerator? Buy one. No big deal. Cold milk is important and ice for bourbon is a necessity so...buy it. It's a REFRIGERATOR.

Y'all...I am sick. I am absolutely SICK. I paid $1200, an amount that in the past I wouldn't even have NOTICED, and I am just sick. WHAT IF I NEED THAT MONEY TOMORROW? What if They blow up the dam? What if They sabotage the water supply? What if They...

Stopping point. Never done this before but the refrigerator? IT DIDN'T FIT. So excuse me while I go BUY ANOTHER ONE and I'll finish this tomorrow.

If I sober up by then.