In The News

Animal Farm 2009
First it was Mad Cow Disease.
Then it was Bird Flu.
Now it's Swine Flu....

Do you get the feeling the animals are finally meting their revenge on the biped omnivores?

The First Dog
Why are all the White House dogs purebreds? We aren't a country of purebred people, haven't had a "purebred" president since Washington...so what's up with the dogs?

What's wrong with a mutt, I ask you? A good old pound puppy. Save a fuzzy widdle face from the gas chamber.

I appreciate that one of the Obama children is allergic...wouldn't this have been a great opportunity to address all the other pet dander intolerant little people out there and say, "It's okay to be allergic! Look! Even a First Child has allergies!" Instead, they found a hypoallergenic dog...which creeps me out a bit, truth be told.

What about a First Hamster? Other allergic kids settle for hamsters. Or a First Fish? Are fish politically incorrect? The White House is already a fish bowl...seems logical to me....

The GM Restructure
Under the GM restructuring plan, taxpayers (and union members) will own 89% of the failed company.

I DON'T WANT GM! I've never driven a GM, my parents never drove GMs...I can't stand GMs! So, because we wouldn't buy a few of their crappy cars we're now going to own THOUSANDS of them! Sweet Jeebus.

Susan Boyle
I'm really concerned that the makeover happened too quickly.

Honestly, I've given this a lot of thought - marketing people are sick that way - and I'm afraid she's at serious risk of losing the pity vote.

Not a smart move, Susan. You've been frumpy-fabulous for 47 years - would another month have killed you? You don't need a stylist, you need a evil genius PR agent!

Mike Tyson: The Movie
I have no words. Seriously.