Overheard

The Scene:
The buffet table at a Mexican restaurant.

The Setup:
Everyone at the restaurant belongs to the same professional organization.

The Players:
One very frosted blonde 45-ish-year-old wearing a tight Alabama football t-shirt and tighter blue jeans. We'll call her Candy.

One brunette 45-ish-year-old wearing a long, knit, halter dress and accessories. We'll call her Ruth.

Scene 1
:: Ruth is filling her plate with rice and beans at the buffet before joining the rest of the group in the banquet hall::

:: Candy is reaching into the same pan of rice and beans before joining her friends at the bar::

:: Candy looks up and sees Ruth::

CANDY: OMG! OMG! Ruth! I didn't RECOGNIZE you!

RUTH: You didn't?

CANDY: OMG. Nooooooo.

RUTH: Um...well, I look just the same as I always have.

CANDY: No you DON'T! You SO don't!! You look GREAT!

:: crickets::

Aside: The woman digging into the pan of cheesy beef enchiladas with me stops dead. I freeze. We glance up at Candy, then at each other, drop our spoons and walk away in opposite directions. Neither wanting to witness what might come next.

Scene 2
For the next four hours, Ruth dances around the bar-area, working hard to avoid Candy. I believe if she gets too close she will stab Candy in the eye with the business end of a tortilla chip.

Candy remains oblivious, watching NASCAR (Darlington. Night race.) sucking down Bud Selects and loudly passing judgement on everyone at the bar.

END

Unfortunately, I was not in possession of the equipment necessary to flatten Candy's tires. You know, just to help along Karma a little bit.

Ruth, my sister, I'll never leave home without drywall screws again.

Image Credit: http://www.manbottle.com/picture_library/blonde_wish...