Never Buy a Car From a Guy with a Mullet

*Heavy Sigh*

So, my little car...she's not well.

At 185,000 miles she is elderly and on the auto-equivalent of life support.

One week she is incontinent and needs a new valve gasket, the next week she blows out a hip and needs to have a CV joint replaced. All along she needs a steady supply of oil, as she farts blue smoke every morning.

So I've been looking at cars. But when I look, I feel like I'm cheating. Ogling the newer cars' features - TWO cup holders? Sa-weet! - admiring the pretty paint choices, fondling the leather seats.

I have guilt.

Hubster is over my guilt. He's ready to move on and has an opinion as to what I should be driving.

If I HAVE to get a new vehicle, I want a SMALL vehicle. A coupe. A cute car, an easy-to-park car. A little Civic 2-door or even an Accord or Altima coupe. Hey, I'm flexible.

He wants me to drive Sherman Tank.

Current car is a mid size sedan. A middle-age car. I've always had responsible, respectable, dull cars. Hub wants me to stick within the safe confines of the dull category...or move up to a tank. He'd be over the moon if I bought an F150 loaded with chrome.

So I found something in-between: a Nissan Rogue. It is cute but it's a 4-door. It's not an Urban Assault Vehicle, but if I got hit it wouldn't shatter. It - excuse me while I get girly - comes in pretty colors and configurations but it is gender-neutral enough for him to drive without embarrassment. Basically, it is the perfect compromise.

So, last weekend we went shopping. Took a trip up to Nashville to go honky-tonkin' and looked at a few car lots while we were there - Hub had never even heard of a Rogue before Sunday, so he was anxious to check them out.

On our very first try - at the very first lot - a gently used 2008 Rogue sat right out at the street - front and center - practically BECKONING us. We stopped. We ogled. Hub nodded. My hopes soared cautiously.

And then out walked the salesman and within 10 minutes I was ready to leave.

Picture a less-polished Jeff Foxworthy - mullet, ballcap, untucked polo without a t-shirt. He wore mirrored wrap-around sunglasses and had bits of tobacco stuck to his front teeth.

In a word, he was a mess. An ungodly mess.

I expected him to act like I wasn't standing beside him and he didn't disappoint. Talked to Hubster like he was there alone. This was fine. The last thing I wanted was to engage this Hillbilly in conversation.

Hub explained to the guy that I love Nissans, that I've had my car for 12 years and the car before that was a Nissan, which I kept for 11 years.

At one point he started pushing Hub toward a new vehicle..."Lots more choices out back" he said. I looked at Hub and said quietly, "I don't want a new car - I'm really not interested in eating the depreciation and this one is only a year old."

Apparently Mr. Foxworthy thought I was talking to him.

"What are you worried about depreciation for? Sounds like you drive a car until the wheels fall off - what do you care about depreciation?"

Well, F*ck you.

"Because," I looked him dead in those stupid mirrored glasses, "I could lose my job. And if I DO lose my job and need to get rid of the car, I'll be SELLING a used car, so I'd rather BUY a used car and not end up upside-down on the loan."

I was ready to hit him. After ignoring me for 15 minutes, this douche bag had the balls to get snarky.

Hub sensed it was time to go. Douche bag sensed he wasn't going to make a sale, and I was sick-to-my-stomach angry.

We drove off to a different lot, where they had no Rogues, but they sales guy was very, very nice.

Luckily, while in Nashville, Hub discovered CarMax and is in LOVE with the concept: Find a vehicle online and have them send it to your local CarMax lot. It's perfect. He's in total control and I don't risk an assault and battery charge.

Everybody wins but the douche bag. I can live with that.


The Peach Tart said…
Girl I've been doing a little car shopping and am so over it. I'll try the CarMax thing.
Governor Jen said…
I HATE car shopping. WAY too many d-bags. I worked for auto for years, so it made the process a little less painful. But we're going to have to buy a new something or other in the near future, and I'm dreading it. Everyone I know who has used CarMax loves it though. Good luck!
Emily said…
My husband and I are buying a Toyota Yaris...very cute and parkable; not so girly that Hubs won't drive it. Big improvement in mileage. "Cash for clunker" is the way to go. Can't wait til I'm behind the wheel!!!
Anne said…
I feel your pain! I felt like I was cheating on my girly car that I had before I had my hubby and 3 kids. Shopping for my minivan was VERY hard!
(Just mingling)
hswilkinson said…
Just don't get a Nissan Versa. That thing is powered by three asthmatic hamsters.
City Girl said…
HSW: LOL - A Versa. I swear that car is branded Nissan but is actually built by Fisher Price. When my old girl can beat a brand-new Versa off the mark, something is bad wrong.
Nina said…
YOU CAME TO MY CITY!!! Sounds like that guy really was a douchebag. Good luck! An leading used car search engine in UK helps you to find new/used cars including Used Audi, BMW, Fiat, Honda, Mazda, Mercedes, Mini Nissan, Peugeot, Renault, Seat, Skoda, Toyota, Vauxhall, Volkswagen. Get the best deals to buy used cars, new cars through best car dealers in UK.
jon said…
What a great blog. I loved it, especially the senior citizen analogy.
The salesman:The mullet doesn't bother me as much as the wrap around sunglasses. I like to see eyes and make eye contact. A lot of used car salesmen talk to the husband when it is the wife buying the vehicle. I was a Nissan fan until we had a Honda. We love that Honda.
Donna in AL said…
I looked at 08 truck Sat. with 13,000 miles on it. The salesman said price was in the $20's. I asked bottom line, how much it I financed myself. He didn't know, come in and they will work the numbers. He had told me he and his wife were thinking of buying it. So I asked, you are thinking of buying and YOU don't know the price? He says just drive it. No, if the number isn't right, there is no need to waste his time or MINE. I left, told him to find out the price, I would call. He asked what price I needed, $21,000, he got my number....never called me!

I do not like car salesmen !!
hswilkinson said…
I had a Versa as a rental in DC. I nearly died on 495 because I thought the thing actually had an engine. Eeek!

Good luck with the car hunt!