Guten Haben!

Actually, I'm in suburban London now...Oy, what a day!

So here is what I learned in Frankfurt:

1. Germans, generally speaking, are INSANELY tall. Every time I, wearing 3 inch heels, stood beside a towering Teutonic goddess, I felt silently mocked.

2. I LOVE GOOSE! Who'da thunk it? At the previously mentioned biergarten I celebrated St. Martin's Day (a few hours early) with apfelwein and goose. Amazing.

3. Apple wine (apfelwein) will sneak up on you, jump you and then soundly kick your ass.

4. German Thai Curry is...yeah, it's just gross. As gross as it sounds...I want to be nice...but can't.

5. Forget the stereotype - German business people can be really cool and a lot of fun. And when you spontaneously hug them...even though you just met the end of a really long day...without thinking...they will not, actually, throw you in ze kooler.

6. Toilets in Germany - whether in your hotel room, an office building or in a public place - come equipped with scrub brushes. Like you use at home. If you make a mess? You, by God, are expected to clean it up. Can we impose this by LAW in the U.S.? Please? With the death penalty and everything?

7. IT geeks are IT geeks the world 'round and Ich Liebe them all.

8. Three-inch heels + quaint cobblestone streets = Disaster. And you end up walking three blocks, in the rain, barefoot, while homeless people look at you with pity in their eyes.
:: der sigh ::

9. Like Jen said about a month ago: Ausfahrt (exit) and Einfahrt (no entry) are, indeed, the funniest damn words in the German language.

10. Stumbling across a Starbucks, on the most random corner, in an unfamiliar city is a gift from the heavens (image). Is there a patron saint of comfortable, familiar, soy triple lattes? No? There should be.

11. I also learned about our customer, the industry, blah, blah, blah. But that stuff doesn't hold a candle to Ausfahrt or the homeless guy feeling sorry for me.

**Time Lapse **

Note to the guys currently hanging out in the lobby at the Holiday Inn in Woking.

Jesus Bulgari-Bathing Christ. How much cologne do you need to wear? SERIOUSLY. Are you on your way to a f*cking competition? The How Far Away Can You Smell Me Friggin' Cup? Because I'm pretty sure their goalkeeper just plopped down beside me and their entire freaking FAN CLUB is at the bar. Holy. Shit. I'm not joking: My eyes are watering.


Mrs. Gamgee said…
Ok... you should put warnings on your posts... something along the lines of not to be read while eating as it may be a choking hazard.

Hilarious, lady! Hilarious!

I'll be chuckling about Ausfart all day!
fatboyfat said…
You see, it's Woking. Since the Great Nasal Hair Disaster of 1978, the good people of Woking have been stricken with no discernible sense of smell.

You can Google it, if you like.
Mejis said…
My mom and grandmother are the only short Germans I know. They're 4'11" and they remind me of those garden gnomes the Germans like.
I lived in Stuttgart, Germany for 10 years. Been to Frankfurt a lot, too.
Le laquet said…
An evening in a biergarten brought to it's memorial knees by overuse of cologne in Woking - who'd have thunk it?
Indigo said…
I don't even like Starbucks all that much, but I could have kissed every single person in sight when we located one when we were in Playa del Carmen. It was heaven!