Confessions of the Culturally Inept

The other night I was at dinner with coworkers and bosses.

Just to put it into context: I was there with a peer, my boss was there with a peer, their boss was there and his boss was in attendance. The entire departmental food chain was breaking tortillas together.

Boss's Boss (Boss Squared) starts talking about the latest episode of Modern Family, quoting from the program, cracking himself up. My boss and his peer join in. Finally, Boss Cubed joins in.

Peer and I sat there staring at each other.

(I've tried to watch Modern Family, on several occasions. I just don't think it's funny.)

We nod and smile and try to participate, but every time Boss Squared asks me, "Did you see the XYZ episode?" I have to admit that I haven't. Eventually he catches on (Peer gets off scot free) that I don't watch the most amazing sitcom on American network television since Seinfeld.

Says him. To me, that's like comparing Miley Cyrus to Bach.

They're both (technically) music, they were/are both popular in their respective times and they're both...okay, so the comparison ends there.

But one is genius and the other is popschlock (copyright CG2 2010).

So Boss Squared and Boss and Boss Peer start grilling me about other "genius' shows:

Boss: Do you watch The Office?
Me: I love The Office - Ricky Gervais cracks me the hell UP. Did you see him host the Golden Globes?
Boss: Um. No. The American version.
Me: Ah...Not so much.

Boss Squared: Chuck? Do you watch Chuck?
Me: I've seen Chuck. It's pretty good.
BS: You've "seen" but you don't "watch"?
Me: Um...Not so much.

Boss Cubed: So, CityGirl, what DO you watch?

An awkward silence.
Really awkward. Awkward and lengthy.

So I sit there. Replaying in my head what Hub and I watch when he isn't playing Call of Duty and I'm not reading or working.

Old reruns of Doctor Who. I can't admit to that.
BBC America: Top Gear, The Graham Norton Show, Cash in the Attic. Nobody watches that.

Lately, we've been watching The Ovation Channel - A short-lived BBC4 show from 1990 called The Book Group and a CBC show about a Shakespeare festival called Slings and Arrows. Which is really, really good actually. And "the best music show in the world," Later...With Jools Holland.

Also, I can't wait for season two of Glee! (squee!) to begin.

Dork. Dork. Annnd Double Dork.

Boss Peer: I know you watch Big Bang Theory. (I love this woman. She is actually my sista from anotha mutha)
Me: YES! YES! I watch Big Bang. I love the Big Bang.
Boss Peer: *snicker*
Me: Okay, for once the double entendre was completely unintentional.

Jesus take me now.

So, peeps, what do YOU watch? Can you help me become less dorky through television?


Governor Jen said…
Cool and TV? You're asking someone who still have bunny ears on her 50"!
Mrs. Gamgee said…
Ummmm not sure I can be of assistance... I'm the geek who watches the food network and space shows like star trek (in all it's incarnations) and stargate (in all it's incarnations). Oh, and MASH reruns.
Melissa said…
No. Nothing here. We already watch all of the same shows. I am geek, hear me roar!
Country Girl said…
It's not your ineptness, it's your excessive eptness ;) I've never even HEARD of any of those show. The problem is you WATCH, I don't turn on anything that can't be interrupted. Right now? Bones. Because Seeley Booth is BEAUTIFUL, and the chemistry there is amazing. Burn Notice. White Collar, because TNNK thinks that guy is hot. Keeping in can miss half the program and still know what's going on. That is very important around here.
Country Girl said…
Oh, and Tony DiNozzo on NCIS! Obviously, we watch by charm factor around here;)
Emily said…
Just discovered Top Gear (brilliant) love The Office, sick of LOST. What about How I Met Your Mother? Community? 30 Rock? Big Bang Theory is genius.
Indigo said…
The problem lies in the segment where you say "what Hub and I watch when he isn't playing Call of Duty" because I live in a house where the Call of Duty Saga is on the tv practically 90% of the time. Does this stupid game EVER end? Do you they EVER get all their weapons taken away from them? Do they ever save the princess and then the game is over and confetti falls from the sky? Oh wait, that last one might be a different game system. Anyways. If your husband is playing Call of Duty I'm surprised if you get to watch any tv shows at all. Because, I'm just saying, my tv time has been greatly reduced since this Call of Duty thing entered my home .....
Country Girl said…
Ohohohoh! Don't forget Psych! Crack you UP!
Tom said…
the only thing I ever get to watch that is new episodes is Criminal Minds and that's only when I'm thinking about it and it's on. Most of the rest of the time it's reruns or TV on DVD episodes of West Wing. I miss Jed Bartlett.
Comet Girl said…
I watch every fix-up-your-house or yourself show on TLC, HGTV & DIY. My husband is sick of it. I watch DVR'd episodes of Criminal Minds. NOW I'm going to have to search Slings & Arrows because you have peaked my curiosity. You know I loves me some Shakespeare. OH! AND GLEE!!!!(I have a secret addiction to makes me feel much better about myself and my life since my standard of clean has had to be drastically reduced after getting married and the addition of two teenagers and a 5 year old.)
hswilkinson said…
Shows I watch...

Big Bang Theory (I'm married to Sheldon)
House (love me some Hugh Laurie)
Bones (according to the husband, I'm Bones with a touch of House)
The Tudors (final season soon!)
Secret Diary of a Call Girl
How I Met Your Mother (Neil Patrick Harris!!)

That's mostly the shows I keep up with. There are many more that I'm trying to catch up on, or love.

By the way, am I the only person on earth who hated Seinfeld?