(no subject)

Rites of Passage...

The sex video is today or tomorrow, I think. The Not Nice Kid is alternately amused and grossed out. The rest of us are just amused...she just turned 11...give it a couple of years ;)
The Nice Kid texted me from school the other day. (No, she doesn't have her phone at school. I mean, it's not like I don't trust the public school system to LOOK OUR FOR MY KID or anything. ) "Mom, I got in trouble."
Damn. I assumed it concerned attire...there IS a dress code but it's sort of ambiguous and inconsistent. She doesn't drink or cuss or fight, so...whut?
She has a friend, a young man, who recently announced he is gay. It's one of those...well, duh! moments. WE all knew, glad you joined the party. (Crackin' myself UP!) There was, predictably, backlash. They're teenagers...lots of drama. For a minute or so and then everyone gets all torn up over...a new car or a bad haircut or all the other equally important events in teen angst.
TNK is sitting in class, and there is a kid behind her who is ordained in a church. A rolling around, chanting in the aisles, creatively interpreting the bible, church. (Now SEE...to ME? THAT'S a problem. Tops? He's 16.) And this kid is badmouthing the recently-announced gay child. He says to TNK, "You're a faggot lover." To which she replies, "You're an ignorant ass."
As I explained to her, the problem was NOT in her reaction...she was right to stand up for her friend. The PROBLEM, and I hope she remembers this, was in her choice of descriptive nouns. "Ass" may not have been the best choice of terms. We'll work on this.
So here we are, driving down the road and discussing the proper terminology for telling someone to mind his own business...AND THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT.
I. Don't. Care. What. You. Believe. Mind your own business.
And I would appreciate the same consideration. I have a friend who grew up Pentecostal, the showpiece in a family gospel band. In one of our discussions about sexuality and gays and God and choices, he pointed out: "God made me this way. It's NOT a choice...no one would choose to be ostracized and beaten up and 'different' and sissy. There's a reason; and someday I'll know what it is."
So TNK and I are working out how this should be handled. First off I explained to her...it's not Faggot Lover, it's Fag Hag. She fell OVER laughing..."Mom! Where did you get that?" THEN, I explained that at ANY time, in ANY situation, that someone starts explaining theology and God and righteousness and...OH YEAH.....JUDGEMENT????? The correct response, right in the middle of the discussion is, "Oh my gosh!!! I have to check my email!!" And in response to the puzzled looks and questions? You explain..."Well! OBVIOUSLY I missed the email from God, giving YOU the right to judge!"
My kitchen is a recently-remodeled disaster, I haven't seen the floorboards in my car in almost a month, I HAVE to either start exercising or picking out tombstones, these kids need to start taking their grades more seriously and........YOU HAVE TIME TO WORRY ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE'S SEXUALITY??? You have time to worry about someone else's drinking habits? You have time to worry about someone else's clothing choices or yard decorations or marital status?
I figure...if I can get myself even CLOSE to right? I've done what I was supposed to do. I can't save mankind or fix the economy or reverse global warming. I CAN? See to it that the elderly couple across the street have a warm supper when the power goes out. See to it that the menagerie of animals living at The Institution, because they're too ugly and un-cute for anyone else to want them, are adequately fed and pampered. See to it that my kids know someone loves them and that my childhood friends know I'm glad they're there.
What I don't get? Is wasting my heart condemning someone else for something I don't understand. The way I learned it? God understands. That's His job.
End of sermon.
Now, if you'll just GET THE HELL OUT OF THE LEFT LANE? Before you go to hell for being an IDIOT? I'll be fine ;)


Comet Girl said…
Tell TNK she can also use the term "alternative lifestyle companion".
Tom said…
Tell TNK she can also use the term "douche-canoe" rather than "ass". Besides being NOT a swear word, it has cachet that "ass" doesn't have!
jon said…
Ok, She should have said, "Your an ignorant donkey."

which is more offensive calling someone a "faggot" or
an" Ass?"