Oh, shit, here we go

Last week I woke up, in the middle of the night, in a hideous sweat. I blamed it on the steak and red wine I'd had for dinner.

Sometimes, when I eat heavily late in the evening, it effects my sleep. That happens to loads of people -young people, even. Right?

The next night I had pasta and red wine.

More sweat.

I blamed the wine.

The following night, no wine, no sweat.

Eureka! It isn't hormones! It couldn't POSSIBLY be hormones. It's the wine.

Last night: no wine, buckets of sweat.

Well, fuck a duck.

This morning? I spent 10 minutes searching my office for my computer glasses.
As I was walking out the door to retrace my steps, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror - and found my glasses.

Of COURSE they were on top of my head. That's the oldest menopausal/middle-aged cliche in the book. Sweet Jeezus - if this is going to happen to me, can I get some original symptoms, please? Something with a little color? Something a little less...textbook-y?

So, here we go, kids. It looks like I'm crossing the threshold into Those Years.

I hope The Hubster survives.

Image attribution: Middle Age Barbie is all over The Interwebz...I have no idea who originally Photoshopped her. Sorry.


paul said…
break out the progesterone cream
Country Girl said…
As God is my witness, I will come drag your ass to The Pellet Man. Go. NOW.
Susan said…
Welcome to the dark side!
sam s said…
Birbie girl was really nice to see and it was awesome colors.