I'm Not Even Going To Say It Aloud

There must be something I'm losing in translation.

Got to be.

Please, God, tell me its the translation.

I use analytics to track where you all originate. It's fascinating, actually, to see where the old timers live and the route the noobies take to find us for the first time.

Some of the most...interesting... material provided by Google and Site Meter is generated by Google searches.

Yesterday somebody in Ontario Googled, "people showering" and somehow landed here.

A GABILLION people in France Google "casket louis vuitton" every week and land here.

(Now I KNOW that is translation FUBAR since casket is the French word for Ball Cap).

Anyway, about once a week we have someone visit this space who finds us by Googling, "girl slaughtering."

I hate to even SAY it, because it'll just drive more of their freaky traffic here.

At first the searches were originating in the Middle East, like Pakistan and Saudi Arabia. Simple Arab mistranslation, right? Then we started getting "g.s." searches originating in Indonesia... Eeww.

Then yesterday someone in France - and you know who you are - Googled "g.s." and found us.

I am here to tell you that it freaks me the hell out to think that people out there are actually looking for.... THAT.

WTF? G.S.? It can't be an Arab language issue if the damn French are also searching it.

Unless they are Pakistanis living in France. Who the hell knows? All I know is that I want their freaky eyes to stop gazing upon our lovely posts.

I'm going to have to change the name of that post, aren't I? Because of these freaky freaksters.

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.

And you KNOW I'm afraid to Google...that...myself for fear of what will pop up before my squinty, trying to just barely peek eyes.

:: sigh ::

I'm keeping a list, actually, of the strangest Google searches that lead people to this blog. Someday I shall share them.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.