Posted for CountryGirl who is at the beach this week and whose vacation - as you might suspect - is not going as planned....We need a better class of tourism.
Went to buy a bathing suit yesterday. Not that I'm going to be SEEN in it, but I put it on under a cover-up and then sat under an umbrella on the beach all afternoon.
We were standing in the checkout line and there were these little bins full of all this...stuff. Stuff for your kids to whine about while you're waiting in line and stuff you give in and buy just to SHUT THE LITTLE DARLINGS UP. There was one checkout girl and about nine people in line, but we were all on vacation and not being pissy or anything. And one of the bins had these plastic packages with these big red buttons in them. The label said, "Redneck Button."
The Not Nice Kid (of course) picked up a package, pushed the button, and this voice from my hometown screams out..."GET OFF THE CELLPHONE, DICKHEAD!"
No lie.
There was a frozen second and then...everyone in the line CRACKED UP. I mean, it was SO unexpected and SO out of place and...we just lost it. As my face turned a scarlet color not found in nature. I turned around to face the counter when I heard this buzzing sound behind me and I whirled around and screamed, "DON'T YOU..." only to find myself staring at a wide-eyed six-year-old I'd never seen before holding a fake machine gun. NOT the redneck button and DEFINITELY not my child.
Everyone fell over laughing again.
We told the story over and over again...you can take the rednecks out of the country? But you can't take the rednecks ANYWHERE.
Editorial Note: I am seriously considering converting to Islam - just for the bathing suits. Seriously - even *I* could wear the swimsuit in that image. - CG2
Comments
But looking at that bathing suit, all I can think of is how the fabric would stick to your skin with a film of sweat and salt. Yigh.